Motivation & BDSM
We often discuss obedience and punishment in BDSM. Yet I rarely see motivation discussed. Would it surprise you to know that negative motivation is rarely effective? And it could in fact be counter to our aims as dominants and masters?
The research is showing that the best way to motivate someone is to gain their trust and respect, to have them grow to like you and admire you. To follow you of their own volition. To act because they want to.
That doesn’t necessarily exclude having play time be funishment, or humiliation. So long as the relationship is secure and healthy. So long as the person receiving it has a healthy sense of self. And are involved in the boundaries you set as a couple/group dynamic. That they are evaluated from time to time to be sure everyone is on the same page. And in a good place.
I think that is the difference between dominance and abuse. Appropriate use of the tools of BDSM. I think we need to keep learning as dominants/masters so we don’t damage the people we are in charge of.
…… resources
Tips to Be a Better Motivator
- Set clear goals
- Listen more and speak less
- Praise regularly
- Encourage others
- Show them they can count on you
Do rewards enhance learning outcomes?
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Yes, but they’re better coming from within the person. Rather than from someone else.
What about competition?
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competition engages multi-faceted motivational processes, which explains why the introduction of competition does not consistently bring motivational benefits.
metamotivation and motivation contagion
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Metamotivational belief refers to our beliefs and understanding of how motivation works.
Motivation contagion – certain behaviours demonstrated by one person to be imitated by observers.
bribery
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Bribery is not Motivation. You can scare a person into compliance, but that’s not motivation, it is fear. You can bribe a person into feeling happy, but that’s not motivation it is temporary euphoria that is quickly replaced by a “what have you done for me lately” mentality.
Focus on a Better Culture
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improve the motivating factors, such as authority, reinforcement, growth, and responsibility. With these precursors, motivation within people will grow.
Create a culture of TRUST and affection within the organization/group/relationship
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An organization where all people are pursuing a common vision in an environment of trust has a sustainable competitive advantage due to high employee motivation.
Excellent leaders create a solid framework of values, vision, mission, behaviors, and strategy.
When people are reinforced for voicing their truth, even if it is uncomfortable for the boss, trust will grow.
mspeachierocks 