Trust – In Community or Private Spaces
In a day when we keep hearing about people with power abusing it, and couples going thru cheating drama, how do we negotiate trust?
It’s hard to accept at face value when the one accused either denies it or blames the outsider for their own behaviour. My position on this is that the one in power and the one inside the relationship are the ones who should be controlling themselves. Lolita, Jezebel and Eve are stories. Most men aren’t Chippendale dancers. Let’s be real here.
And if you’re walking thru life around those you’re attracted to with your eyes on their goody bits and your tongue dragging, the issue is yours. Never theirs.
Are you expected to be chaste before, outside marriage? Well according to the main religions’ holy books yes. But these days few of them would kick you out if you weren’t a virgin. So is shame as deep a river as it used to be? Are men and women really bred to be hunters now? Probably not. So what motivates the predator now?
And let’s be honest, these days marriage just isn’t as high a priority as it used to be, People are more about the career track than finding their ideal mate. Or even their co-parent. To make 12 babies for the good of the temple, like they used to. So what would be the purpose of a man raping a reluctant spousal candidate? Or a woman trapping a man with false pregnancy claims?
It seems like most of the big stories are off the table then. So shouldn’t the rest be about people practicing some self restraint?
Yet here we go again/still with news stories about someone who stepped over the line of good taste, discretion and self control and blaming anything but themselves. And their spouse sits there, supporting them. It boggles my mind! Have we learned nothing since Bill Clinton and Jim Baker?
It’s not up to your partner, boss, or the police to control you. Keep your panties on and your zip up. Or leave the room.
You should be your own moral compass. And if you can’t be due to an impulse issue or sex addiction, seek counselling, You need it.