Voices in an Audience (a story) – the star and stalker dynamic


Voices in an Audience  – the star and stalker dynamic

the star
wrote something and in my mind I heard something that resonated. So they became my idol, my lover, my muse. There stopped being a them and I; and we we’re now ONE. Symbiotic.

the letters
I write several times a day and my diaries are full of how their songs bleed into my life and s/he must be psychic to know so much about me.

the walls of my room
have become a shrine, my diary has become an homage. I have a shrine on which I place anything I have of her/him. I light candles everyday so s/he is safe. I say prayers and homilies that I just know s/he hears. Esp after the next song comes out and that is just what I hear. Whether it’s there or not! It’s in code, just between you and me.

I bought a ring
That I’ve convinced myself was given by her/him and I wear it with pride. I’m sure we’ll be married soon. I know our children’s names.

the merch from every concert
and the tickets to every show I can get ahold of, are driving me to bankruptcy, but if I stop supporting them, how will they survive? Mom and dad are sooo POed at me!! I’ve filled up all my closets and mom won’t clean my room anymore. Even though we had to get exterminators in twice last year.

I learned the songs
I play them over and over. I know every word and nuance in the song. And I know the meaning better than the band. If I could, I’d play them 24/7. But I’ve lost 3 jobs this year alone, for lack of attendance and distraction. It’s hard to eat and sleep without having those songs on.

Dear Star,
You know exactly what I’m going thru, I hear it in your songs. I know you get it. You’re the other half of my soul. And I know it’s only other people who stand between us. I saw you look in my eyes from the stage, so I tried to come to you. But security and your manager kept getting in the way. One day, I’ll get thru. I have to cuzz I’ll die without you….and so will you, without me. You’ll see!

Signed your number one fan!

Voices in an Audience (a story) – the shill and auctioneer dynamic


Voices in an Audience  – the shill and auctioneer dynamic

Leroy Van Dyke – The Auctioneer Song

You could almost tell who was a shill in the audience. If you knew the auctioneer used them. They were first in the room, last one out, and somehow their bids were always seen. No matter how crowded the room was. All it took was someone making note of the last legit bid and the auction house could call them afterwards and say the other bid fell thru. Did they still want the item?

The shill never took anything out of the house, except maybe an envelope? If you didn’t know, you might see them as instructions for picking up their item. But they never seemed to be in the cashier line. And don’t most auction houses say you have to pay that day? How many auction houses deliver?

And on the website for the auction house, they were posting delicious reports about items they supposedly bought, or service they supposedly received. Doing anything they could to up the rep points of the house and the auctioneers.And doing anything they could to minimize or defuse disquiet. To shut down trolling. If an auction house used shills, they had incredibly positive reports on their sites, and not much else.

That is how you could tell a shill existed in their social stratosphere. And you could tell it was Joe, because he was well reputed as one of the better shills in the game. He had a few houses paying him. He needed no other income, he was that good.

Only other shills could figure out that he might be one too. But then they knew what to look for. And they could only guesstimate. Those who knew for sure were the ones paying his salary.

Joe went on any web site or sale as an old-school gentleman. He was a friend to all and enemy to none. He spoke politely and firmly about his houses. About how great they were and deserving of his patronage. But then he got tips for creating a good environ on their sites. You’d almost swear the owner of the house was writing his script. Except Joe had a past as a marketeer, copy ad man. So he was very good at what he said. The owner just gave him talking points and left it in Joe’s hands. And Joe gathered the most friends on his profiles. Of course, he had more than one! Did you think otherwise?

So Joe had a secure revenue stream. And he quite enjoyed the auction-shill game. He got to enjoy his antiques and high-end art. And the crowds that went to those places too, without Joe spending a dime. Looking like a bigwig. It was a perfect life for him. He fit it admirably.

Voices in an Audience (a story) – the heckler and speaker dynamic


Voices in an Audience  – the heckler and speaker dynamic

Bob stood up at the front, on the stage. He was full of puff and swagger. And everyone heard him. You’d think that this meant that everyone listened to Bob’s opinions. But many didn’t.

They were too busy listening to Jimmy, the dufus in the back who was mocking Bob. Though some of what Bob was saying was made obvious due to Jimmy’s help. Due to the broadcast loop of a heckler. It didn’t mean they liked Jimmy better, or that they didn’t like Bob. They just didn’t want to think seriously about anything that day. They wanted to have fun.

So Bob paid the heckler to do specific things in his mocking of Bob’s words. If he was going to broadcast, at least Bob had a reign on his words.

Like the kings of old. The court’s fool and singers were paid by the king. If they wanted the gig, they had to be good and not bite the hand that fed them. Bob made one warning to Jimmy. If he ever made Bob mad, he’d tell the crowd that Bob was paying Jimmy and prove it with his checks. So Jimmy was trying to keep that in mind as he laid out his tomfoolery about Bob. He could poke the bear, but not humiliate him.

And, for awhile, this worked.

Till Jimmy got too complacent…

Bob was beginning to get irritated. And gave Jimmy a few warnings. But Jimmy didn’t take heed. So Bob delivered on his threat. And Jimmy was booed down the next times he opened his mouth. He didn’t know that Bob had followed thru on his threat. And he couldn’t figure out why the crowd had turned on him. So he stopped speaking. Asked a friend to take over the heckling of Bob’s speeches. His friend refused. Because he knew about the checks. Esp when Jimmy asked for a cut of anything Freddie got from his heckling. So the checks weren’t faked then. Freddie had given his friend the benefit of the doubt till that moment. Jimmy lost a friend that day.

Bob went back to the days of being the sole voice in the crowd, but he wasn’t listened to anymore.

Moral of the story? Sometimes having a heckler gets your message out in a way you can’t. But it’s a good idea to keep a reign on them. Then they are a good tool for any orator or comedian.

Mr and Mrs Scarecrow (a story)


Mr and Mrs Scarecrow scarecrow Mr and Mrs

the Scarecrows

Mr Scarecrow lived in the field where a farmer had planted him. He was quite happy most days. Unless the water or snow made him wet, or the wind tried to blow his stuffing out, he smiled and whistled his fave songs. Wishing only for a friend.

Mrs Scarecrow lived in the garden where the farmer’s wife planted her. She had the same aversions as Mr Scarecrow did, and caught herself waving to him whenever they survived another run of bad weather. He waved back.

the Scarecrow philosophy on seasons and nature

Neither feared what they didn’t know of. Like being hungry, or real things like fire. They weren’t fond of things like pests (rats, mice, snakes, bugs, rust) and didn’t really consider that their one function in life was to chase away the one thing that might keep most of the pests away from them. Birds. They just did what they were designed for. Chase away the birds. They didn’t know the birds stole seeds that made the plants grow around them. The Scarecrows were confused whether birds were bad or good. But they did their jobs anyway.

Mr and Mrs Scarecrow got used to seeing each other and put a bit of flirt and affection into their survival waves as time went by. They worried about the other when the farmer and his wife took them off their hooks to add a bit of stuffing or put on a new outfit if their old one became a bit mildewy or tattered from the weather and pests. And the rare bird that saw past the glamour of the scarecrow and dumped their disdain on their clothes. Yes, now and then, they needed a fresh change of clothes. They were quite thankful that the farmer and his wife saw to this need. They checked out the other’s new gear and waved and smiled. Quite happily. Now and then there was even a wink or two.

the Scarecrow philosophy on technology

Mr Scarecrow thought about tools in big terms, like tractors, and trucks. Mrs Scarecrow thought about them in smaller terms, like rakes and hoes. Though she quite liked the garden tractor and the tiller that came thru a couple times a year and made things fresh for another season or two. Mr Scarecrow mocked the small toys she thought were fabulous, and Mrs Scarecrow felt frissions of fear at the largeness of the big things he took for granted. Neither of them saw beyond the needs of their domain. So things like computers were unheard of. Though Mr and Mrs Farmer’s children could have said they were fun and the farmers were happy to use them as a tool for the farm as well.

the Scarecrow philosophy on science and math

Mr and Mrs Scarecrow were both slaves to the weather and planting seasons, but never thought that things like science and math might help these masters of theirs work better. But Mr Farmer was taking a few courses to help out in those directions. So the farmer family might last beyond his generation. He’d seen one too many of his neighbours kicked off their land by bank foreclosures. He had a few dollars in the bank and a package of benefits and insurance against a rainy day. For their sakes.

the Scarecrow philosophy on birth and death

Mr and Mrs Scarecrow saw the farmer and his wife thru their many offspring. But all they knew was the kids liked to chew their straw and play tag around them. They were somewhat of a pest to the Scarecrows as well. In field and garden. And truth be told. the scarecrows wanted them gone. Which was kind of silly, considering family farms such as theirs don’t exist without the kids. Do they? For the next generation.

Now and then, Mr and Mrs Scarecrow saw the farmer family dress in black and go somewhere in their car. They came back sadder. But for the Scarecrows, they just wished that this silly behaviour that brought on sadness stopped. Though Mrs Scarecrow sometimes found it brought her a new bench or garden gnome to look at. Which she thought was nice. Mr Scarecrow didn’t get any of the benefit so he just wanted them to stop wearing black and going away in their car. If all it did was bring sadness.

the Scarecrow philosophy on communication

Mr and Mrs Scarecrow were quite happy being mute. They saw the farmer family often getting into trouble for things they called jokes, lies, secrets and spats. The Scarecrows often thought the farmers would be better off if they just shut up. They thought waves, smiles and flirting at surviving and changing clothes were the better way to go. And you know? The Scarecrows may just have a point 😛

Ah such is the life of a scarecrow though. Do you think it’d work for us humans?

the gardener (a story)


The Gardener

There once was a very special gardener… Dollie was the best of her area. She could clip, cut, shape, weed, grow and do anything a flower needed. She won contests for them all. But there was something unique about Dollie…
Where most people saw:
(blue flowers) –

flowers rb cell phone 154899756131513216

She didn’t see blue flowers,
But she saw this instead:

(black stencil of a flower) –

for doll story

and heard a very pretty song.
Where most people saw:

(purple flowers) –

purple flowers collage cell phone 154899756131513216

She didn’t see purple flowers,
But she saw this instead:

(black stencil of a flower) –

for doll story

and heard a very pretty song.
Where most people saw:

(red flowers) –

flowers red collage cell phone 154899756131513216

She didn’t see red flowers,
But she saw this instead:

(black stencil of a flower) –

for doll story

and heard a very pretty song.

Everyone looked for an explanation when Dollie was young. But she was happy just tending the garden her mom helped her work on.

Everyone tried to explain what colour was like, even about a flower. But Dollie just had nothing to relate it to. So she just went plodding along, with her black flower gardening. Happy as a lark, singing along to the flower songs.

Some people called her crazy, some called her stupid. But she was so good at what she did right, eventually they just left her alone.

Dollie spent her life tending the gardens of her whole neighbourhood. A very happy life was the one Dollie had found for herself. She was so good at tending her black flowers that sang the most beautiful songs.

(there is a song linked in the next three posts of each picture, if you’re into music)

While the Bunnies Played (a story)

adorbs bunnies text 154899756131513216


While the Bunnies Played

Bunnies love hunting for treats. And that is why they began the tradition for humans. It might have started with them digging up carrots and playing footie with lettuce balls. But they caught on that humans really aren’t into those.

So they left little chocolates. At first the humans were kind of grossed out… I mean who wants things that look like rabbit turds? #amiright?? So they shaped the chocolate into eggs. Then the humans caught on and enjoyed the gifts. And the bunnies knew they had won when the humans actually ate them. Hunted for more. #likelittleaddicts!

The bunnies thought they were making a connection with the humans…till the next day after Easter was over, the humans got out the stew pot again. #lesigh! All that work for nothing. #bunnyfuneralrites!

So the bunnies got back to their own games and made more bunnies. Maybe next year the humans would understand? #wherethereislifethereishope!