Q – What Does Quality of Life (QoL) Mean to You?

Q – What Does Quality of Life (QoL) Mean to You?

There aren’t many topics where this factor doesn’t fall into your thinking about what you need or want from your life, for bare survival or pleasure and freedom. And when it comes to how much you’re willing to tolerate the govt intruding into your autonomy and acting as a parent if they think you are incapable of making decisions for you. Or how much the govt wants to act for basic crowd control.

Or how much you let a partner or family member decide for you. For eg, if they had power of attorney over your financial and medical decisions and where you lived and with what supports, would you want a piece of legal paper (alt decision maker, advance directive) stating what your wishes were so the court or a state/govt guardian would know so they could check up on you?

And how much is available and affordable to you, in terms of science, technology, medicine (thru charity or your own funds) and just plain common sense. I mean we can wish, right? Wishes are free.

And yes, it’s a very subjective decision process. Because no two people are alike. Though we can guesstimate the majority of people’s interests, needs based on what is available that they have seen or know of. A lot of study has been done on people so there are parameters, theories most people fall into.

But what about you? What do you think is a good life? For you or your child. And do you think you can provide that? Is there a bare minimum you think must be present? Is it more about relationships, supports, autonomy, or money and things?

Where did your vision come from? Your family? Your religion? Your community? Your career? They all shape you, but where does the apex of what would satisfy you coming from?

And what would you do if that got taken from you? Would you fight to keep it or get it back?

It’s def a thing that takes some consideration. And again, it’s subjective. You are the only one who would know your answers to these questions.

International Criminal Court – forced pregnancy is a crime under int’l law.

International Criminal Court – forced pregnancy is a crime under int’l law.

Rome Statute of the International Criminal Court

Sadly, the USA didn’t sign and ratify it. So the ICC can only act as an advisor to the UN.
The ICC may not have actual force they can bring to bear, but that doesn’t mean they don’t have moral weight to ‘discuss’ issues with nations. Their displeasure would be felt.

Article 7

Crimes against humanity

  1. For the purpose of this Statute, “crime against humanity” means any of the following acts when committed as
    part of a widespread or systematic attack directed against any civilian population , with knowledge of the attack:
    (a) Murder;
    (b) Extermination;
    (c) Enslavement;
    (d) Deportation or forcible transfer of population;
    (e) Imprisonment or other severe deprivation of physical liberty in violation of fundamental rules of
    international law;
    (f) Torture;

(g) Rape, sexual slavery, enforced prostitution, forced pregnancy, enforced sterilization, or any other form of sexual violence of comparable gravity;

(h) Persecution against any identifiable group or collectivity on political, racial, national, ethnic, cultural, religious,

gender as defined in paragraph 3,

or other grounds that are universally recognized as
impermissible under international law, in connection with any act referred to in this paragraph or any crime within the jurisdiction of the Court;
(i) Enforced disappearance of persons;
(j) The crime of apartheid;

(k) Other inhumane acts of a similar character intentionally causing great suffering, or serious injury to body or to mental or physical health.

This covers Canada as well as the USA, and Canada did sign

add on

And unlike the USA, Canada is a member of the Commonwealth and participated in helping member nations to codify the Rome Statute into their laws.

14thA – Right to Privacy, Equal Protection Clause, Due Process – Abortion and what else?

14thA – Right to Privacy, Equal Protection Clause, Due Process – Abortion and what else?

And Roe goes down today…. Which is an attack on the 14th A
So people in the USA should know the direction this is going in, besides who is a citizen with equal rights and protection under the law, who has a right to vote, hold power, property, have sex and with whom, and who can freely work/live in the USA.

It affects fertility, gender and sexuality. For people of all genders and sexual identities.

  • Back to the days when…. you had to be married and have husband’s consent to get birth control of any kind.
  • Consensual sex between homosexual couples was illegal.

It isn’t just a pro – life, pro choice debate. It’s about the govt having the right to make your decisions for you. Decisions that should be between you, your god(s), your faith community, your partner and your doctor.

the response of the UN, WHO to today’s decision

US has signed int’l treaties that recognize abortion as health care, as legal human rights that must be upheld. And if the govt fails to act decisively, they will be in breach.

Synagogue sues

religious freedom arguments on abortion: A person can argue they have a religious obligation to do something, but that a law or policy punishes them for acting on their beliefs, or they can argue that a law or policy violates church-state separation.

And the crowds gather at SCOTUS, despite having snipers on the roof, they protest this decision.

What can you do?

  • delete any app that tracks your menstrual cycle
  • I’d say vote, but for whom? And can you vote?
  • nothing stops a sperm donor from getting a vasectomy….
  • call/ write your local representatives in govt.
  • protest at your local courts
  • fund nat’l clinics that can provide pills to abort and send these by mail
  • understand clearly that this is the first volley of many that attack personal autonomy and fertility rights. Are you safe?
  • move
  • strike – refuse to work for a govt that fails to protect you.

Roe vs Wade

the Supreme Court used the right to privacy, as derived from the Fourteenth Amendment, to extend the right of privacy to encompass a woman’s right to have an abortion: “This right of privacy . . . founded in the Fourteenth Amendment’s concept of personal liberty and restrictions upon state action . . . is broad enough to encompass a woman’s decision whether or not to terminate her pregnancy.”

Griswold v. Connecticut,

the Court identified a constitutionally protected right to privacy, which the court reasoned prohibited states from denying birth control to married couples.

Eisenstadt v. Baird

held that the law’s distinction between single and married individuals failed to satisfy the “rational basis test” of the Fourteenth Amendment’s Equal Protection Clause.

LAWRENCE V. TEXAS

unreasonable intrusion of the govt/state and equal rights – case was about homosexual sex in privacy of their own home

comments closed

Not my monkeys.

Q – Who do you say ‘I love you’ to?

Q – Who do you say ‘I love you’ to?

Does it have to be intimate/sexual, blood family?
Is it friends who have shown love and loyalty over time?
Will you say it to a child? Or maybe someone frail due to disability or age who is looking for reassurance?

….

And if it’s someone else, how do you respond?
Thank you? Aww that’s sweet?

,,,,,

Do you explain when your response isn’t ‘I love you too’?
Or do you see it as them overstepping?

That Little School House ( a story/ish)

That Little School House

When the school house bell rang, you could watch the gaggle of kids come in from the miners’ shanties, the farmers’ fields and the factory village. Their parents weren’t allowed to let the kids work alongside them anymore. Laws had been changed and all. The parents weren’t so sure it was a good thing. But at least they were supervised and out from underfoot.

Their parents thought the kids were playing some games and maybe doing some art or crafts to while away the hours. But the priests were teaching them to read and write better than their parents did. Or some of them anyways. Some of the kids were learning how to swing a hammer or screw a screw. Some were learning how to sew leather or clothes. The priests were selling the good stuff a few towns over so their parents never caught wind of the money changing hands. And some were playing games, but those games that kept their bodies fit and taught them how to obey orders.

The kids came home cleaner than they went, which kind of made their parents wonder what was going on. But they figured the priests were fussy and let it go. And the kids obeyed enough that no words left their lips to explain.

And all it took was the bell ringing for the kids to come and go.

There was one child who looked thru the gates, with some confusion. The school had been closed for many years. It wasn’t even safe for the kids nearby to play inside anymore, let along take lessons.

Whenever little Bobby tried to tell his parents what he saw, they smiled, patted his head and admired his imagination. Though they did start to worry when the stories kept on and on. As Bobby got older though, he learned to write the stories down, rather than tell his parents.

When Bobby was a young adult, he went to a college library and looked at the history of the school. There were pictures of the miners’ kids coming in from the mines the first day the laws changed. There were pictures of the farmers’ kids coming in from the fields. And there were pictures of the kids leaving the factories to come to the school. There were pictures of a priest or two ringing the bell of the schoolhouse.

And there were pictures of the kids who were taught to read and write. Most of these kids went on to nearby colleges. Pictures of kids being taught trades they could use later on in life. They found guild memberships for most of these kids. And there were pictures of the kids who played games to learn to listen and follow authority. And they found draft contracts with most of the kids from the school who played the games.

They even found receipts of the things the priests sold a few towns over.

Bobby took all his stories to a publisher and sold them. And left them behind now he knew exactly where they had come from. And it wasn’t his imagination.

Bobby had a son, who started bring home tales from the schoolhouse. Of when the bell rang. So Bobby took him to the library and showed him what the history of the schoolhouse was. And they left the area so little Robbie was never plagued with the visions of the kids. Coming in from the mines, fields and factory village to be taught what they needed to know to get around the new laws.

But at the schoolhouse? The remnants played out their dramas, waiting for another child to come along who would see what history had wrought there, at the little schoolhouse. The bell was rung by a priest till that child came along.

Fighting to Be Free (a story/ish)

Fighting to Be Free

There was a group of men who went off to war, to fight for freedom. They fought side by side with the young and the poor. Thinking they were fighting for the same reasons. Only to realize they had an extra layer to those who needed to learn to obey or learn a trade, those who needed clothes on their back and food cuzz their family didn’t have any.

  • One man had to prove his loyalty to a newish land. Or be put in prison as one of the enemy.
  • One had to be allowed to live among his own, even though his family had been here longer than any.
  • One had to fight to be free from the plantation. To never go back there again.
  • And one had to free himself over and over from the shackles he’d come to the battleground in each and every day.

They fought like they were free though, when they should have been. Wondering if they would be alive, like the others did, when the end of the war came. And wondering if those in charge would keep their word.

Along side their troop, they saw ghosts in shackles. Scrambling over the battle ground, waiting to see if they’d be alive at the end of the day. Singing old songs of war, from the world’s beginning. Hearing tales of heroism, from among the frontline that never saw a ribbon or medal, because they had no choice in coming to this fight. Slaves collected just for this fight.

Each of the ghosts fell and rose again to battle against the enemy. Each fall only taking a link from their chains. Till finally the chain broke, and their spirit rose free, finally.

And our four modern servants cried at the sight of the spirits rising, wondering if it was to rest and freedom they finally went. Projecting their own insecurity onto the spirits’ fates.

  • Were they finally seen as a friend in their new nation?
  • Were they with their family again at long last?
  • Had they seen the last of the master of the plantation?
  • And were they now unshackled from the cells of poverty and society’s disdain?

Was there a chance for them at the end of this battle’s day?

They sang the songs of the heroes of old days in hope it would bring them their victory. The promise of redemption in this land that asked more from them than many. Vigilant now of those who served with them on this battlefield on a modern day. And holding each other’s prayer in their own hearts as well as their own today.

For freedom, for family
For the winds of change
May society someday understand
What their blood already gave.

Ladies, We Should Talk With Each Other About Our Bodies and Hormonal Cycles More

Ladies, We Should Talk With Each Other About Our Bodies and Hormonal Cycles More

For the sake of self esteem, identity, reasonable expectations & understanding. So we don’t pathologize our experiences or allow it to be done to us either. So we don’t continue the shame many cultures perpetuate onto girls and women. With huts we use when we’re menstruating, women only birthing experiences, FGM so we don’t feel pleasure in our own bodies. Terms like whore, slut, hag, witch, bitch, cunt … that attempt to diminish us.

How aware are you of what your body will be going thru at the stage you are in? Most of us on the web unattended are past the puberty cycle. And working on fertility (or preventing it) or menopause phases. Do you know what the pitfalls are of the stage you’re in? Do you understand that you are not alone or at fault for your issues? Why is it women wear more of the shame/blame when things go wrong? Do you know what to expect and what you could be doing to prevent or minimize the problems?

Sure everyone tells you that nutrition and exercise help manage your hormones. But what can you do to buffer your body when you just can’t? Women’s bodies break down differently. Women are more likely to have chronic pain issues of mind and body (or report them?) So how do you work thru the hormonal stuff when your mind or body won’t play along? And how much of these issues are iatrogenic (doctor caused/contributed to)?

Ahh yes, isn’t being a girl/woman a special experience? Doesn’t all this shame and blame lead to something? Of course it does. Feeling like you have to be perfect, that wrong or right, it’s all on you, that your body and weight have to be in a certain percentile of the impossible BMI index …. lead to body dysmorphia. And media and society don’t help. We have to be slim, sexy, pretty, submissive to men and engaging at all times.

And to top that off, we’re more likely to be abused and/or murdered by our partner. What an end to all this extra effort and confusion. Yeah, I think I’m going to go hug my daughter.

…..

Before you say it, yes men have issues and if you want to write about that guys, let me know and I’ll happily support your writing on your page.

  • the links provide info for those who wish to look under the hood. All the sites are medical, credible and pretty thorough. They look at the common things girls/women face. If you have them, you def shouldn’t feel alone. There are no zebras on them.

Q – If health care is a right, then how do you define it? Does Canada have universal health care? And for whom?

Q – If health care is a right, then how do you define it? Does Canada have universal health care? And for whom?

Most people think that Canada has a universal health care system. We don’t. Don’t get me wrong, you won’t be refused care if you go into the hospital with chest pains or stroke symptoms. But you might be told it’s not physical. Or that you should lose weight. You might be asked how much you drink or what drugs you use. And that’s after waiting up to 20 hrs in emergency.

Entire care regimes are left out of insurance systems. Dental, aural, eye, mental health, physiotherapy…

Chronic pain patients are often left in the dust because practitioners get frustrated with people who won’t recover. And if an explanation isn’t found quickly, you’re more likely to be treated as an attention or drug seeker.

Ad that’s at the best of times.

Some of the Conservative premiers in Canada seem to be attacking our system in an effort to privatize it. They’re using the pandemic as an excuse to let it fall apart rather than work to bring it up to date to meet the growing and changing needs of the people. Their efforts have meant that doctors and nurses are burning out and leaving the field, services and tests are being de-listed from insurance plans, and the definition of the people and their needs that they are willing to serve are narrowing. Esp in areas like fertility care, reproductive rights and gender identity. Despite the fact that the federal laws are becoming more inclusive. Despite the fact that the global laws are becoming more inclusive.

Which is bad enough in itself, but they have the citizens doing the dirty work for them. Questions like ‘what is a woman’ and ‘who belongs here’ are being queried. So race, class, gender, ableism, ageism, culture/religious rites and meanings are being cast into it to tear apart the citizenry in an effort to break apart the health care questions further.

How do we stop their division so we can save the health care system? …. I wish I knew. But I do know we’re looked to as one of the best systems in the world, as a model for others. And it’s coming apart at the seams.

……. resources

Alma Ata – 1978
Emerging from the conference was the consensus that health was a human right based on the principles of equity and community participation. Alma Ata broadened the perception of health beyond doctors and hospitals to social determinants and social justice.

….

WHO – founding premise
The right to health also means that everyone should be entitled to control their own health and body, including having access to sexual and reproductive information and services, free from violence and discrimination.

Everyone has the right to privacy and to be treated with respect and dignity. Nobody should be subjected to medical experimentation, forced medical examination, or given treatment without informed consent.

That’s why WHO promotes the idea of people-centred care; it is the embodiment of human rights in the practice of care.

When people are marginalized or face stigma or discrimination, their physical and mental health suffers. Discrimination in health care is unacceptable and is a major barrier to development.

……

UN
The right to health has a number of essential elements:

  • Availability
  • Accessibility
  • Acceptability
  • Quality
  • Participation
  • Accountability
    The right to health also contains certain freedoms and entitlements
    UN
  • Freedoms
  • Entitlements

What Most Zoo Kitties Want – (a primal story)

What Most Zoo Kitties Want –

Miss Kitty was a very docile and calm cat when it came to other kitties. She loved to sit back and watch as they played and mated. Ever interested in their games. She rebuffed all their advances and efforts to have her join them.

Miss Kitty also refused such efforts from the zoo keepers. She barely tolerated them near her when they were bringing her food and water. She’d hide when she heard the keys in the gate.

The vet had been called a few times to look her over. But there didn’t seem to be any reason to worry. The vet just described her as a gentle, shy creature. Which was fine with the vet.

The only thing noted was that Miss Kitty was chewing her paws. To bleeding. So the vet left some special mittens for the keepers to put on her. After failing to get them on the cat herself of course. It took several of them to hold her down and get the mitts on. Only to see that Miss Kitty had them off again in less than half an hour. And no, she didn’t get used to them.

Finally they gave up.

When Miss Kitty refused to engage in kitty games naturally, the zookeepers brought her dates to see if she took to a strange cat better than her zoo mates. Maybe they were just too familiar for her to be interested in that kind of play.

Well, the dates did try. The zoo keepers watched and noted some pretty slick cat courting. But Miss Kitty turned into a psycho-kitty to get them away from her. Even though she wanted kittens, (they were the only other beings she let near her without a fuss), she wouldn’t be mounted. Which was frustrating for the zoo keepers since she was a rare cat.

Miss Kitty got better and better at hiding and avoiding. She found hidey holes and tall places where the zoo keepers and most of the other cats couldn’t get to. And she watched them. While there, she chewed her paws and rubbed her back against a sharp stone. And ended up with long scratches on herself. When the zoo keepers noted them, they ran a hose over her to clean them and charted them for the vet’s attention.

It might have been more worrying, but Miss Kitty was a happy cat, who ate her food, drank her water and watched the other cats with a smile on her face. So the vet presumed she was healthy.

One day, Miss Kitty saw a kitten was in trouble. The little tom had gotten himself stuck between rocks and no one could get to him. He was crying and upsetting his mom and the zoo keepers. Miss Kitty went as close as she could and tried to talk him down. But he was too upset to listen to her.

Finally Miss Kitty got her head in and shoved him out the other side. His mom was thrilled to bits and licked and batted him for being such a worry.

And no one noticed till the next feeding that Miss Kitty hadn’t been able to get herself loose. The zoo keepers tried everything they could think of to free her. And made sure she had water and food while they tried.

Finally they called the vet.

There was nothing they could do for the poor kitty though. So the vet put her down. The other kitties mourned for poor Miss Kitty. Especially the little tom whose life she had saved. It took his mom hours to settle him. He was that inconsolable.

But soon enough things went back to normal at the zoo. There was just one dish fewer at meal times. One less chance for that cat breed to remain a part of the cat world.

If only Miss Kitty had been a different kind of cat.

…..

Macy closed the book and looked at her daughter who was in tears. So she gave her a hug and asked what she was thinking. Jasmine said she hoped that Miss Kitty was in a place where she could be safe being her own kind of kitty now.

The Rules of Sacrifice (the larger meaning and how kink fits in it)

The Rules of Sacrifice (the larger meaning and how kink fits in it)

We often write about submission and suffering in kink relationships. But I don’t really see discussions about sacrifice. Are they so entwined that we don’t see them as separate? If we submit to another’s will, is it a given that we sacrifice for them of ourselves? And to what degree? If we do submit, suffer and sacrifice, whose obligation is it to care for and protect our self? Theirs or are we still responsible for our own survival?

Is it the bottom and/or submissive who is the only one on the journey of sacrifice? Or are there ways the tops and dominants sacrifice, suffer and submit in their service to the greater good and those under their care and protection? Things like time, attention, and resources.

Are ordeals and trials a form of sacrificial path as well as suffering (pain, blood/bruising, task adherence & fatigue, deprivation, humiliation)? Are these aspects of the dynamic or solely for the bottom or submissive to achieve?

….. What is sacrifice?

types of sacrifice

  • human sacrifice – their life, safety for the greater good
  • animal sacrifice – for sustenance and forgiveness, appeasement
  • relationships – where there is inequality between the people within.
    Do you give your power to another?
    Do you give your time to another?
    At what cost? With what limits?
  • religious observance ( ie Lent) where you deprive yourself by giving up things you value, enjoy, that ease your life to humble yourself before your god(s)

to give up, or permit injury or disadvantage to, for the sake of something else

  • what you intend to give up has to be something you value, that means something to you. That would be hard for you to do.
  • Suffer (deprivation, pain), sacrifice, service to/protection of others, and work/effort go together.
  • Obedience, humility and reverence go together.
  • meant to appease a higher being, or ask for blessings or forgiveness from a higher being
  • act should achieve something beyond personal gain. It should be for someone else. Or attached to a greater good/purpose.
  • act within a way that is consistent with your claimed religions and affiliated group/god(s)
  • to share when you yourself will not have enough. (This doesn’t preclude protecting your life, health or the relationships you have with others though. It means feeling the loss.)
  • something significant in your life, your being has to change, there has to be impact on you to consider it to be a sacrifice.

eg of a religious or spiritual definition of sacrifice

Vedic purposes

‘Manusmruti is considered to be the first ethical law book of the world for the human society, scribed during the immediate post-Vedic age. The compendium has prescribed to perform five sacrifices (Pancha Yajnya) as a part of routine activity in daily life of a house-holder. These five sacrifices elaborate one’s socio-ecological responsibilities are such as:
(1) Rrushi Yajnya- (sacrifices for the source of knowledge – teachers),
(2) Pitru Yajnya (responsibility for the parents, ancestors and self genetic system),
(3) Deva Yajnya (protection for the environmental powers as Gods),
(4) Bhoota Yajnya (care for the protection of biodiversity) and

  • (5) Nrru Yajnya (Positive interaction with fellow human beings of the society).
    Men (people) should be committed to show obligation to the above environmental constituents as their ethical and ecological responsibilities.’ (sic)

what do these words mean to you?

And are they linked so much they’re inseparable?

  • suffering
  • submission
  • sacrifice

Something to ponder as you talk with your partner(s) and community.