rigging and asphyxia

First, let me say that I’m not a rigger. But asphyxiation is a common problem/safety hazard with police, nursing, construction (my dad and brothers are gen contractors), and other health and emergency services. So I’ve looked up sources that are relevant to several to come up with common pointers.

## three types of asphyxiation that can and do result in death:
* gas exchange – oxygen and carbon monoxide
* compression
* Posture/position

A common injury/risk in [rigging][http://www.kinkweekly.com/article-anniebear/almost-everything-about-rope-bottoming/]

## Positional Asphyxia
A form of asphyxia which occurs when body position prevents adequate gas exchange, such as from upper airway obstruction or a limitation in chest wall expansion, e.g., due to steering wheel
* compression or limited neck expansion
* breathing -gas and room to breathe
* position
* force

## Signs and Symptoms of Asphyxia

Any of the following symptoms can lead to asphyxia.

* Difficulty and/ or noisy breathing, which may ultimately lead to cessation
* Rapid pulse
* High blood pressure (hypertension)
* Cyanosis of the face
* Swollen veins on the head and neck
* Convulsions
* Paralysis
* Slowly losing consciousness
* Complications from Asphyxia

Although there are only a few numbers of possible complications from asphyxia, they are, nonetheless, severe and sometimes, irreversible.

* Coma
* Brain death
* Death

## So knowing that…
CPR seems to be a necessary safety measure for a rigger.
And have your cell handy during rigging.

## Positions that leave one most vulnerable:
* face down
* prone with weight on back
* neck hyperflexed
* chest wall compressed
* neck area compromised
* enclosed/narrow space – mobility
* standing upright
* fully suspended ( no weight supporting you on the ground) vs partially (some weight supporting you on the ground)
* ropes around neck and chest vs a harnass style
* closed in area/room vs well ventilated area/ room

## positional asphyxia sources-
[definition][http://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/Positional+asphyxiation]
[first aid][http://firstaidandcprcourses.ca/asphyxia-causes-signs-and-symptoms-complications-and-first-aid-management/]
[forensics-legal][http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1752928X08000115]
[police][https://www.policeone.com/less-lethal/articles/1996241-Science-liability-use-of-force-and-restraint-asphyxia/]
[pathology][http://emedicine.medscape.com/article/1988699-overview]
[forensic -medical][https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/26840099]
[behaviour mgmt][https://www.crisisprevention.com/Blog/June-2011/Positional-Asphyxia]

## compression asphyxia source
[forensics -medical][https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/24781404]

hell’s tears (a story)

They came to the river, at dusk. All they saw was fog and confusion. All they felt was rage, unable to separate it. Till they saw the man in the cloak rise with some [odd beast][https://youtu.be/djPhqdXu7z0] that looked like … maybe a dog??
They felt numb at first, like they were in shock, or was it disbelief? They felt nothing, when their world was ablaze. They felt nothing, when they should be screaming in pain.
Charon stepped forward and sang [ooh child][https://youtu.be/_DHRGrIqmb0] and held out his hand to them. They shivered and stepped back. How do you believe a man who seems more fog or demon than a comforter? Yet he meant them no harm.
Charon lifted his hands again and set forth the healing mists of Lethe. For humans. shock and forgetfulness are healers. Till your mind can grasp the painful state, without breaking. He sang again, and they walked slowly toward him. He smiled.
As they came near him, they heard a choir [sing][https://youtu.be/iDNtqy0zjJA] . Even in their shock they found a few tears to cry. The choir was the voices lost in Acheron.
Charon guided them to the boat, to cross the river Styx. It was the last line of humanity, where few could return without the blessings of the gods. They weren’t aware of that. They were wandering as if it was temporary, or a dream. With a look somewhere between terror and confusion on their faces. But when they were in the boat and he started to row, they soon became calm. The lapping of the waters had them feeling calm soon.
As they saw the other shore, they asked to be taken back, but Charon shook his head sadly. They searched their pockets and found nothing to offer. He just smiled calmly to reassure them.
Their faces fell and they [cried][https://youtu.be/t5fZFYv3YEw] the tears of Cocytus.
Ahead they saw their fate. Which they now knew was unavoidable. They saw the [fire][https://youtu.be/NOErZuzZpS8] of Phlegethon and screamed.
It seemed like a second. It seemed like an eternity. All at once and yet waves of torture. With little seconds of respite within.
In that moment of clarity, they finally understood,… they had come to hell.

 

## . . . .
Cerberus often called the “hound of Hades”, is the monstrous multi-headed dog that guards the gates of the Underworld to prevent the dead from leaving.
….
Charon was the son of the primordial Gods Erebus (God of Darkness) and Nyx (Goddess of Light).
….
Acheron was the river of lamentation.
Cocytus was the river of woe.
Lethe was the river of forgetfulness.
Phlegethon was the river of fire.
Styx was the river of unbreakable oath, by which the gods swore. It was also the river of hate.

The Prophecy of Death

The Prophecy of Death (story)

Out came the spinning wheel. It was time to get to work. The sisters knew they were hated by the humans, but they were just following orders.
Clotho spun the “thread” of human fate, making each thread strong and true. She incorporated each lie they would tell, each jealousy and greed they would feel, each rage they would spew and cackled over the trouble this soul would make in the world.
Clotho added the fear and sadness they would experience and felt a twinge for a moment about their pain. Then she added the joyous moments and felt better again. Yes life was hard, but it was a limited engagement. That was how she and her sisters were able to continue doing their job. Out of infinity, this soul would just shed a few tears. For some reason humans found that hard to understand. The rest of eternity, they would share love and peace. What’s so hard about that? The Elyssian fields were a beautiful place after all.

skin to skin
mother and father
came together to make the babe
and with a squall
they were glad it was done.

Lachesis dispensed it, putting the threads into a mesh screen. Where the soul intertwined and related to each other. Times of peace and war, times of liberty and slavery, times of conservative and libertarian views. And the occasional tatt when the world went to hell. And the gods had to step in and guide things back to their rightful place.

skin to skin
lovers were made
in dreams and in deeds
trying to become one
not liking alone

and Atropos cut the thread (thus determining the individual’s moment of death). Even though she knew that a wail was about to go up by those who loved the soul and glee was raised by those who hated them. Even the most pleasant of souls had haters, and even the most vile of souls had friends. As the last rites were performed, there was either a drunken brawl or a war broke out. Stories came to light about the soul that caused hurt feelings and praise was given for their good acts. But worldwide, each soul had that moment of remembrance. The friends remembered the good and the enemies the bad memories. It was just the way it was.

skin to skin
wrapped in their shrouds
their last gasp still felt
on their lips
as the family gathered

That was the way the gods had made it. And the fate sisters could see the logic of it all. So they had contracted to be the thread dealers. And actually, they enjoyed it all, except for the way the humans blamed them. It wasn’t their rules, it was the gods behind the screen.

skin to skin
mother and father
came together to make the babe
and with a squall
they were glad it was done.
skin to skin
lovers were made
in dreams and in deeds
trying to become one
not liking alone
skin to skin
wrapped in their shrouds
their last gasp still felt
on their lips
as the family gathered
As the skin came off
the light raise up
gathering itself
for eternity’s song
in Elyssian’s field

fluffer

adult sex/porn worker story

Fluffer

I love my job!
I was the guy who spent their time in alleys, bushes, bathrooms and lanes, serving my crowd’s needs. I was the guy who got higher marks, better perks, better jobs, and all for putting a cock in my mouth. They thought they were the ones getting something for almost nothing, but nope, that was me. I loved having a cock in my mouth. It didn’t take much convincing to get what I wanted either.
I also kept my lips shut, when they weren’t wrapped around a cock. So they could trust me, while they had a main relationship, or were doing their downlow thing with me.
If I could have, I would have made a career of it. Oh wait! I did!
I would have gone on camera, but I wasn’t the look-of-the-day. As often as that turns over, you’d have thought I’d find a curve, but nope. I was cute and fit, but they tend to go for a more butch look. Well my bosses did anyway. Maybe I worked for the wrong company?
Oh well, they treated me right, and off camera work tends to be more secure than on, if you show up and do what you’re told. It averages out. You get paid more for being on camera, but you work more years off camera.
During the shoot, your whole job is to keep the star(s) hard. Sometimes, it’s all about blowing them between scenes, but sometimes it’s easier to tell them dirty stories into an earwig, when they’re doing the same shot for the umpteenth time.
I tell good stories! I have an amazing repertoire of stories. The director even listens and has threatened to introduce me to a ghost writer so I can write an erotic novel, or at least a script so he can shoot my stories.
But for the purpose of the stars, all I need to do is talk dirty about something to explain the sensations they feel, without being the same thing they see in front of them for the 100th time. To change their headspace from the scene.
I often bring in some of their fave fantasies to spice it up and have it be something they are into as well.
My day is about sex. My day is about the cock. And I am good at servicing the cock.

unintended outting at a wake

adult humour?

 

Unintended Outting at a Wake (fiction, maybe? lmao)

She had never told anyone that she was kinky and had died while away from home. So there were a few surprises when the wake she had always wanted was held at her home…

  • Like the person who went to get more TP and found where she put her butt plugs to dry instead. The poor man called his wife over and asked what they were. His wife blushed, stammered and said “tell you later hun!”
  • A dear old granny in midst of crying ” why didn’t God take me instead”, reached down to find out what was hurting her boney bum and found a pair of cuffs sticking up behind the cushion she sat on.
  • Someone logged onto her computer to get some pics from her facebook acct and found her fetlife page instead. Her fetishes included bukkake and being used as a human toilet. This poor person was a germophobe… I think she washed her hands 10 x before someone could stop her.

There was a buzz starting to go around the people assembled there.

  • A man, while trying to be a gentleman, reached for an umbrella to shade a lady’s head from the rain on her walk out to her car, and found canes of varying sizes in the umbrella stand instead. He huffed and learned a lesson about when being a gentleman might cost him again.
  • One of the kids found her nipple clamps and was parading around with them on their ears, till mom caught on and took them away. More than a few people blushed.
  • The pastor went to say prayers for her spirit and looked up to find himself standing under the ceiling rings where she was tied up. He asked his wife about macrame. She quickly redirected his position, while saying “no dear, that is NOT what those are for!” Later he had a long chat with her about how she knew that…

In one corner, there were a few people whispering and giggling. And in another were some who were praying for her soul. “The devil comes in many disguises!” was said. And something about “guarding your pure heart”. One of the gigglers overheard that and howled, crying so hard. She thought that “pure” day might have been long past!

  • So one dame who was well afronted, decided to get this evil stuff out of the house and have the house saged and cleansed. She found the toy box under the bed and almost fainted instead. She refused to touch anything without a new pair of thick cleaning gloves on.

Everything was gathered, and instead of a book burning, they had a bonfire for all her kinky stuff. The righteous ones were crying and praying over the soul of the departed. And a few friends were sneaking away toys that they had been wanting to have for a while, but couldn’t find anywhere in town. Kind of sad that she had never told them. Kind of giggling over the shock of the town prudes.

The wake was talked about in hushed tones among the adults of town for many years!

kik chats

kik chats

man

oh baby baby, show me your bewbs!

woman
tell me your name so I know what to call you in my picket fence dreaming

man

um huh… ok so show me your butt baby baby wiggle it for me gawd that skirt is so sexy, so hot so tight!

woman
where do you work? I gotta see if you qualify for my wonder list of potential husbands

man

fuck me! you weird chick u! So intense! Show me your twat, you sexy thing. I wanna see how wet you’ll get for me

woman
I want to tell you my desires and dreams about the future… will you tell me yours?

man

ooo are they dirty? I wanna use you like a whore, make you cum like crazy baby baby

woman to her friend
I’m trying to get him to open up to me. Poor guy must have been hurt so bad by someone.

man to friend

Chicka is nutso. Like I mean 5 kiks and she wants marriage and family. She knows I’m married, right? wtf huh?

woman in journal
Dear Freud, I’m pretty sure he fits your thesis of ……. He has these symptoms
blah blah blah (text wall after text wall)

man’s friend to man

dude! wtf have you got into here??

stone

**hiiiisssss** **hiiiisssss**
a snake for every heart shard
she wore upon her head
**hiiiisssss**
you could hear them first
and knew you soon were dead.
**hiiiisssss** **hiiiisssss**

Once a normal woman, in the wrong place, in the wrong time. Turned into a monster, one piece at a time.

**hiiiisssss** **hiiiisssss**
a snake for every heart shard
she wore upon her head
**hiiiisssss**
you could hear them first
and knew you soon were dead.
**hiiiisssss** **hiiiisssss**

Before a voice of quiet desperation, [stoney end][https://youtu.be/hzJZztwQ0C0] becoming more numb by the day and night. Looking for more wrongs to make her feel, till she cannot breathe without feeling like she’s eating poison.

**hiiiisssss** **hiiiisssss**
a snake for every heart shard
she wore upon her head
**hiiiisssss**
you could hear them first
and knew you soon were dead.
**hiiiisssss** **hiiiisssss**

Love twisted into a grudge; sex twisted into rape; childhood innocence lost; [concrete angel][https://youtu.be/KtNYA4pAGjI] fear and sadness become anger; this woman became what she feared. The harbinger of death.

**hiiiisssss** **hiiiisssss**
a snake for every heart shard
she wore upon her head
**hiiiisssss**
you could hear them first
and knew you soon were dead.
**hiiiisssss** **hiiiisssss**

Once a woman made her into something she had never planned to be, she learned the power of vengeance and dished it out herself. Foul spoonfuls of hate, for those who looked on her to take sustenance from. [carve away the stone][https://youtu.be/guLzY53DPsI]

**hiiiisssss** **hiiiisssss**
a snake for every heart shard
she wore upon her head
**hiiiisssss**
you could hear them first
and knew you soon were dead.
**hiiiisssss** **hiiiisssss**

There she learned she was not alone, a gorgon sister and bride of fate and evil.[heart of stone][https://youtu.be/GEt0ReblU3Q] Almost a relief to be what she had fought, if only for a while. Since she knew a hero would be along to claim her soon, if only as a prize.

**hiiiisssss** **hiiiisssss**
a snake for every heart shard
she wore upon her head
**hiiiisssss**
you could hear them first
and knew you soon were dead.
**hiiiisssss** **hiiiisssss**

She sharpened her weapons for the final battle and yet was taken anyway. It’s really no fair when the gods give her hero divine tools, for such as she to fall to. He is ordained to defeat her.

**with a last hisssss she was gone**
all stone now, with her head beside her
[turn to stone][https://youtu.be/BDhJU_cNCZE]

https://fetlife.com/users/2654971/pictures/61920079

## . . . .Medusa story
[Medusa][http://www.theoi.com/Pontios/Gorgones.html]

## . . . . song lyrics
* [heart of stone’s lyrics][http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/cher/heartofstone.html]

* [carve away the stone’s lyrics][http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/rush/carveawaythestone.html]

* [stoney end’s lyrics][http://www.metrolyrics.com/stoney-end-lyrics-barbra-streisand.html]

* [concrete angel’s lyrics][http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/martinamcbride/concreteangel.html]

* [turn to stone’s lyrics][http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/electriclightorchestraelo/turntostone.html]

 

work forced (a story)

work forced ( a story)

I just have one piece of advice for those of you men who have secretaries or assistants. Do NOT sleep with her, then when you get tired of her, try to fire her. The easiest thing that could happen is she sues you, then there’s criminal charges of harassment, depends how easy it goes. Or you could run into me 😛
My boss was foolish enough to write in his journal that he was going to fire me in two weeks. After a year long affair. When I thought he was going to leave his wife soon. Well he did keep telling me how unhappy he was at home. What a bitch she was. How they had a sexless relationship. Yeah the usual. I know I was a sucker. But people who use me tend to get taught a lesson.
He ran into his murderer and he hired and slept with her. He bought her gifts. So who was the foolish one?
I now knew everything he had told me as pillow talk, and I could use it against him. His dreams, his hobbies, his obsessions and his family and friends. I just had to think and pick that one thing that would leave him desperate, alone and embarrassed. Like I now felt.

  • He had been spending the past 20 years working on and fishing on his dad’s boat. That had to be part of it.
  • His work reputation and clients’ view of him was critical to him. Part two.
  • He had no idea I knew yet, and I did his social and business engagements’ planning. Part three.
  • He had seizures whenever he was near a strobe light. Part four.

Sooooo… I planned a party. All his clients were invited. They were told it was a costume party and the theme was famous lovers in history. It would be on his boat. They were told he had an announcement to make.
The caterers , the flowers, the boat was decorated. Then there was my wedding dress. Padded like I was an 8 month bride. (Nope I’m not pregnant, but the clients hardly ever saw me. It was an internet based business.)
I gathered clips of our sex tapes and made them look a lot kinkier than they were. He said his wife was a prude. And a few of his clients were as well. I put them onto a stick and taped it into the bra of the dress.
That night, I installed the strobe and hooked my laptop up to the TV in the main lounge of the boat. He had no clue I knew he planned to fire me, so he was trying to keep me sweet and maybe get some loving before we broke up.
I tested the strobe a few times, to get his brain primed. Then put on a disco dance. All the guests started to dance. He was kind of hopping. I touched his arm, but he didn’t really seem to grasp that I was there. So I uploaded the clips while his seizure was in process. And hit play. Jaws were dropping thru the room. I walked out of the room while they were all in shock, to the motorboat that had brought a few late guests and left. Left him to the explanations he would have to give. Left for my new life. With my laptop. Nobody thought to stop me and he was in no condition to.
A year later, I heard his wife had taken him to the cleaners in the divorce. She had gotten custody of their kids due to the witnesses who saw the clips. His best clients left his company. They said he had shown really bad judgment.
He seemed really sad in the pictures I saw of him.
And I was on to my next love. No more married men for me! Or bosses either. I think we had both learned our lesson.

the squeaky wheel gets the grease (an analogy)

Every time she walked past the cage, she heard him first. The one who was running on the wheel and seemed to be a bit hysterical or manic. She was never quite sure which it was. She was no trained rodent biologist after all. So she made sure the food and water were fresh, the straw was dry and clean. Made sure everyone seemed alert and cozy. All of them seemed to be, except one little runt, way back in the corner. She petted each and every one of the rodents equally, except the noisy one and the runt. They got more pets. Her pets to the noisy one were always about thanking him for the reminder to check on the group. And the little runt because she was worried about him. They had all lost their mom, but he seemed to be the one who was pining for her. Every other seemed to be coping ok. Or was the endless attention seeking a need as well?
She wished she knew more about rodents. But there weren’t a lot of resources where she lived. She just had her instincts. And they said, cosset them both. They were both saying they needed help in their own way.
Some of the rodents were rutting in the corner, and she sat nearby till they were done and then gave them a treat and a pet. She knew when she was sad that she wanted to feel alive in someone’s arms. So she wondered if the rodents might feel the same way. Some slept more than others and those she made sure got a cozy part of the cage.
She knew all her sisters and brothers had done different things to recover when their mom had died, so she watched closely to see what outlying behaviour was going on. Then act in a primal way to cosset the need. Some did repetitive things and some just lay and missed her, watching the others as if they were nuisances to their peace. She gave the active ones something fun to do, to curb their obsessions. And to the quiet ones, she covered them and set a soothing music to comfort them. Petting them when they sighed in their dreams.
Some of te rodents wanted to be alone, or as alone as they could be. And when they were feeling oppressed by the others’ presence, they got snappy and bitey to chase the others away. And some would want to snuggle up with their mates and never let go. She watched for the extremes and petted them and gave them extra attention. She felt almost like a cowboy or wrangler, working the herd. But these were all grieving rats. And she knew not one of them felt good about missing their mom. But yet they were all acting differently. So she just watched and reassured them that she was there. She had missed that most as the quiet child, when her mom had died. Everyone assumed she was ok, but her insides were twisted up, like a knotted rope. And to this day, she still had phantom stomach pains. But no one understood. Just how isolated she had felt then. They still thought she was crazy, cuzz she never reacted outwards like they had. Which is why she watched the rats so closely and never presumed the behaviour of an outlier was a good thing. She thought they all needed attention and love now. So she made sure they all got it.
After all, their mom had just died and they felt so alone. Orphanned. She knew that feeling. She was glad she was the carer of these poor little souls. Someone had to be.

## . . . . grief
(pro articles)
[dynamics, roles][http://www.griefhealing.com/column-different-grief-patterns.htm]
[Dr Elizabeth Kubler-Ross][http://www.amhc.org/58-grief-bereavement-issues/article/8444-stage-of-grief-models-kubler-ross]
Everyone expresses their grief in their own way. And in their own time.

the days tech attacked!! ( a story)

the days tech attacked!! (a story)

Tech is coming into our homes, more and more . And I would be a very, very bad technophobe if I never wrote a horror story about how badly things could go wrong with this. So here it is! Enter this piece at your own risk. I likely won’t sleep for a week 😛

 

I like my privacy
And even before I got my home aid, I had heard stories about the federal police and the govt wanting access to the computer versions of the search tool. So honestly, i have no clue what I was doing making this decision as a technophobe. And an anarchist.
I asked the device for my usual things I liked to know. At first it was “kind” enough to answer me or allow the searches. But then it was almost like the device became the brat version of itself. It became adament in it’s refusal or appeared confused, even though it was a simple search that I had done repeatedly. OR it offered me my fave porn hub videos instead. That was ok when I was alone. But one night in the middle of a dinner party, with my pastor?… I asked for a Bible verse! Everyone was some shade of red! My pastor gave me a lecture about keeping my mind chaste. That despite my bodily urges, I could at least not trigger it with such an influence. A female friend there gave me a lecture in self respect and the patriarchal influences in porn. She ended it with tears.
Every now and then, out of nowhere, I would hear sirens approach and barely got into a towel or clothes before my home was raided by the police. Luckily I was mostly alone. Once, a lover was over and was asked very embarrassing questions about our sexual habits. They claimed they were concerned about my safety, despite my reassurance. That was the last time he came over. I can’t say I blame him. 😦

I like my toys
And I had hooked up all my toys to wifi. I was thinking ease of function? There might even be some fun for two in it? At first it lulled me into a false sense of security… They worked fine, as they should. It was a good, fun time 🙂
Then I started getting lite shocks at really bad times. Would have been fine for a masochist and all, but I am not!! a masochist, so my urges and their fruition went south 😦
Which got worse when I started getting Billy Graham or Robert Schuller’s voice telling me about a prophet in the Bible or the days Jesus walked in the desert with the devil. Sooooo a turn off!! (in case you don’t know, famous TV preachers)
Worst though was the day my dad’s voice came thru the vibrator just as I was orgasming, to ask me to pick up groceries for him and include something for his hemorrhoids. Yeah wifi was unhooked from my toys that day. It took a week for me to even consider masturbating and much longer to cum. 😛

I’m a bit of a paranoid
I like knowing that my home is secure. At first this function was great and all was well. Till the brat decided I was a perv who must be punished and started warning me a neighbour was entering my back door when I was in the shower. Or I’d be dozing in the tub and the fire alarm would go off. I had made the mistake of touching my genital area. So towel on and run for the alarm before the fire dept was dispatched. I ended up putting a “at home” delay on it so I didn’t slip and fall when I was scrambling out of my bubble bath. I was sure one day, I’d knock myself out and wake to find FFD guys all around me.
And there were the days the brat decided I was a threat to the nation and must keep me from bombing something critical or spreading some gas or infection. Everytime I uploaded a grocery list, it would audit the list and change some of the items right in front of my eyes. Hey you! I may be an anarchist, but that doesn’t mean I’m a terrorist, you lil shit! Worst were the days it called 911 because my garden needed fertilizer or my allergies acted up and I was out of Sudofed 😦 Needless to say, I became more paranoid. I changed the perameters to outdoor surveillance. And home maintenance things, like monitoring the appliances and electric and carbon and freon gases so I felt i could sleep at night and no more!!!

I was beginning to hate this thing!!!!
If it had worked right, and I could trust it, it could have been a lot of fun. Which is why I didn’t disconnect it sooner. As it was, I showed a LOT of patience considering all that happened. But that was mostly cuzz I found ways to curb the brat.

till the last straw!!

One day I was home with a lover and the S.W.A.T team came in. We were searched VERY THOROUGHLY! The house was searched and sadly for us it was a no pot allowed district. So we were arrested. But at least it was just for possession for personal use. We had smoked the part that tipped us over the max for that earlier. It had taken some time for the alert to be processed and their arrangements and investigation to go thru. It seems the home aid had been collating the searches and providng a profile for the police action.
That was it, the home aid was all ripped out!
I was just glad I could explain things lol. But I still have to do community service and go to rehab. Court ordered of course. My home is now low tech!!

**Sooooo, do you want this in your home??