The mistletoe and the oak tree (a story)

The mistletoe and the oak tree

The oak was a proud tree. He bent and swayed with the breeze, but nothing much took him down. The water, earth and air made him a good home. And he stood tall and able against nature, even at most of it’s stormiest weather. Only fire was it’s enemy.

So when he saw seeds blowing his way in the wind, he thought nothing of it. What harm could seeds do? When the seeds flirted with him, he decided to flirt back. What harm could flirting do?

Then the seeds grew roots and dug into him a bit. But he was a tall tree… what harm could a few tendrils do?

He sang to the rooted seeds:

Cause I’ll just use you then I’ll set you free.
Baby, baby don’t get hooked on me. (Mac Davis)

And the mistletoe just giggled and dug in further. The oak really didn’t care much. What threat was a seed after all? Even if it was going deeper. He had room to spare. He was tall and strong. And the seed roots were very little to him. Even after the plant grew, the bush grew. the flowers grew. And the birds came.

Till one day the oak realized that he was starting to get sick. He was getting weak and didn’t have the fortitude he used to.

His song that he sang to the mistletoe changed:

I like to see you But then again
That doesn’t mean you mean that much to me
I’m not in love, no no, it’s because
Ooh you’ll wait a long time for me
Ooh you’ll wait a long time (10CC)

As he withered and died, the mistletoe started sending seeds out to nearby plants. Birds started building their nests in it’s bush and in the oak tree. Squirrels started building nests and storing their acorns in it’s holes and crannies. There was nothing they could do to save the tree’s life, but they would honour it’s form. It’s ghost would be a good home for them.

And the mistletoe’s bush started to die with the oak’s last breath.

The birds and the squirrels heard her soft song:

Can’t let go and it doesn’t matter how I try
I gave it up
So easily
To you my love
To dreams that never will come true
Am I strong enough to see it through
Go crazy is what I will do
If I can’t have you
I don’t want nobody baby (Yvonne Elliman)

The birds, animals and other trees nearby told the story for years after. About the seeds that had taken down a mighty oak. Before the mistletoe had died, mourning her actions. But not before seeds had been imbedded in other oaks nearby. It was a contagion.


It was a love song, about life and the journey of the oak and the mistletoe. Yet it was also about pride and parasitic behaviour that is never taken quite as seriously somehow as other predators are. We all know to stay away from a snake or a hungry lion. We all know to stay away from a bog or forest fire. But the most common threat to a mighty oak is a mistletoe’s seed.

In human terms, the manly man was taken down by a woman who he thought was no threat at all. Who little by little took over his life, till he couldn’t breathe, and died in her arms. Because he was crowded out by her needs.

When discussing medical needs for abortion

When discussing medical needs for abortion


Outside the moral and legal debates, the issue of abortion is ultimately one of the safety of mother and child. During the first two trimesters, mother has to survive, or baby won’t.

Science and medicine have yet to find a way to re-plant the fetus into another womb. They have yet to create an artificial womb. So mother is queen.

And mother is more likely to be the one who bares the consequences of any decision made. There are no good choices if you find yourself pregnant with an unplanned/ unwanted child.

That increases exponentially when you are a teenager. When there is incest. When you have been raped. When you are in a domestic violence relationship. When you have a long term or life threatening illness. When you are badly injured and cannot fend for yourself.

Under these conditions, (well beyond a lack of/or failed birth control) there are no good choices.
So instead of focusing on how evil or ignorant mother is, how about we look at supporting her? Making it safe for her. Because there are women and girls who need it.

When there really is very little choice involved. If any at all. And it’s for them you will find most religions and countries recognizing that abortions have to exist. And have to have the legal and practical supervisions to see that they are safe. Because the option without that is that bothmom and baby die. So instead of talking about reducing the means of abortions, we need to discuss these abortions being more widely available.
If you refuse her an abortion:

1) she may commit suicide, which will kill the fetus also.
2) she may have a back alley abortion and end up dead too. Or sterile, or badly injured/ill in some other way.
In other words, we could lose them both, if we refuse abortions. Is that the better option for you?

…… the medical facts

Mother’s health and safety –
physical and emotional safety
what caised the pregnancy? Was it voluntary? Was mother of age of consent? –
incest – rape/DV relationship
when did mother and doctor agree she was pregnant?

teens –

American Pregnancy Association

Here are a few risks that are greater if you are pregnant before the age of 15 or you do not seek prenatal care:

low birth weight/premature birth
anemia (low iron levels)
high blood pressure/pregnancy induced hypertension, PIH (can lead to preeclampsia)
a higher rate of infant mortality (death)
possible greater risk of cephalopelvic disproportion*(the baby’s head is wider than the pelvic opening)

Baby – 24-40 weeks- 2nd and 3rd term
Viability of fetus surviving outside the womb, independent of mother;
care required/intrusion
disability severity/quality of life. Illness, injury, surgeries, respirators, life support, independent thought and action as they grow. Will they ever be independent adults?


At 22-25 weeks gestation, there is still a very high death rate and high permanent disability rate. Despite medical advancement. Even without abortion as a factor.
Mayo Clinic – gestational weight and size charts of 24-40 weeks
SB9 – Kentucky – fetal heartbeat law- @6 weeks


Mayo Clinic – 1st trimester

12 weeks – By now the baby might be about 2 1/2 inches (61 millimeters) long from crown to rump — the length of the short side of a U.S. bill — and weigh about 1/2 ounce (14 grams).

Mayo Clinic – 2nd trimester

26 weeks – By now the baby might be 9 inches (230 millimeters) long from crown to rump and weigh nearly 2 pounds (820 grams).


why perform third trimester abortions? –

bleeding, still birth, fetal abnormality
obgyn online library – severe fetal anomyly
Boulder Abortion Clinic – mother or fetus is in imminent danger

abortion types –

Mayo Clinic – morning after or plan B


medical (pills) and surgical options –

“Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Moe”

“Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Moe”

I have so many issues with making decisions. And tonight I have to decide between my lovers. I don’t want to hurt either of them, and I want them both. Not quite equally, but pretty close. For different reasons. The one I love because he has better tongue work and the other because his hip dance is inspiring. It all depends which I want that night.

I’d sleep with them both, but they are kind of particular about that. Sighs. My loss. And theirs, because one has to sit out now. And he feels hurt.

So each night I say the rhyme:

Eeny, meeny, miny, moe
Catch a tiger by the toe
If he hollers let him go,
Eeny, meeny, miny, moe
My mother told me
To pick the very best one
And you are [not] it.

It’d work better if there were more to chose from. I just have to remember to begin the rhyme with one fairly much as often as the other. So they don’t know how often I want the tongue over the hip dance. So they don’t know which one I love more than the other.

And maybe, so I can even hide it from myself. So we can stay together. Because I’d miss them both. I don’t want to lose either. I can’t let them know. At least not for sure.

I’m so glad for the rhyme! It’s my talisman.

Eeny, meeny, miny, moe
Catch a tiger by the toe
If he hollers let him go,
Eeny, meeny, miny, moe
My mother told me
To pick the very best one
And you are [not] it.

It’s you tonight, my love. Come lay between my legs and lick me with your tongue! Oh gawd yes! Right there!

I do love being a single woman!

the cock walk

The Cock Walk

When men post pix on the web, we notice some similarities to the roosters in a barnyard. (Sorry, i grew up about a block away from a chicken farm) And it makes us chuckle when we catch them at it.

The rooster likes to fluff and make himself look like the cock of the walk. So do some of the guys here. 😛

Here are the common themes:

top row —

1) sausage fest – he and his mates want to hang out and have some fun.
2) preening – he is heading out and looking spiffy
3) long hair- look how fertile he is!

center row –

4) he challenges the predators who try to invade his turf.
5) He is so fertile. Look at his ladies and babies. Quite the poly man he is, right?
6) he struts his caged self with pride

bottom row –

7) look at him shake his sexy tail feathers!
8) He’s quite the stud! Look at him hanging with his ladies!
9) Oh look at that BBC! Isn’t he gorgeous??

tehehe picture time!

the cock walk... for a post

aren’t you fellas gorgeous??

Just not sure if I should chuckle or drool cuzz I want dinner? Yes you CAN eat rooster!

lookie-loos at the key party

Lookie-loos at the Key Party

There are some key parties where no single/uncoupled people are allowed. They want people who are in the experience, not just watching it. Fewer needs for drool guards that way? I mean, everyone needs to take a break now and then. And men last shorter times than the women do… Maybe we should have more men than women? Or have more bi people involved? IDK the answers. I’ve never hosted! 😛

But then some people like the audience and play to them. So maybe we should split the group? Those who want the lookie-loos and those who don’t? Two rooms or more, maybe?

Got any ideas?

For the first few minutes that was going thru my head, till the party got into the right groove. And I dove in!

It wasn’t like an orgy where everyone piles on. It was more like a dance, where you and whose-ever hand you’re holding danced. In a crowd of dancers. Or somewhere off to the side.

Or there was a greeting and respite room and enough bedrooms that anyone who wanted privacy could have it.

I wish I could say there were never any wrong emotions. I mean not everyone knows they have jealousy “triggers”, besides the obvious ones of nobody seeing or touching your lover’s nekkid bits. But sometimes your lover and whoever just can’t do what you two do together? At least that’s when I notice the fisticuffs flying. Am I right?

And there are ones where someone’s eyes are bigger than their nekkid bits and someone gets frustrated. So they get crabby! Right?

Or someone’s hand needs to get slapped away cuzz they figure all these nekkid folk want them specifically. Um, no! Ask before you touch!

I just know I’d prefer the questions answered before I host. The only drama I want is the nekkid bits bumping on the floors or beds!

Work for you? Am I ready to host yet/

Pranking: Dommie-style

Pranking: Dommie-style

One hears a LOT about brats and their shenanigans… But what if you could do anything you wanted to get their goats? And you had no fear of reprisal? No fear of punishment at all?

The only caveat was everyone had to come out of it in one piece?

  • You could embarass them,
  • or cause them to take pratfalls.
  • You could make them go far out of their way for no reward, taking their time up and messing with their plans.
  • You could tease them unmercifully. Maybe even sadistically.
  • You could woo, flirt, whatever and leave them hot and bothered. And go about your day.
  • You could superglue their flies, and cause them min wardrobe changes.
  • You coud make them edge or get really close to peeing themselves. Or maybe even tip over that edge, if that’s your thing?
  • you could send them on the stupidest, wildest errands and embarassing shopping trips, then turn them around to do it again, if you wanted one. more. thing…

(just a few ideas)

Why would you? Because you can!

We dominants aren’t always serious. And our subs/slaves enjoy getting teased too! They just don’t have the freedom to return the volley with punishment. Hehe! (rubs hands in glee!)

So get your full dom/me on! And make life a challenge for your sub/slave. They can’t have ALL the fun, can they??

Again, I say! They cannot punish you!

Q – what does it mean to be in charge of your sexuality?

Q – what does it mean to be in charge of your sexuality?


There are many questions you probably should ask, to determine who leads your relationship and to what degree. I came up with a few, based on my experience and needs. You might have others, and please feel free to raise them in your comment. It might help give newbs a place to begin negotiation and even query what they could tolerate as they determine whether they are dominant or submissive. I raised what i thought were serious questions, but if you want to have fun with it? Feel free!

factors –

major premise
Do you make decisions together? Or does one lead and the other gets a voice, but not the final decision? Or does one keep their mouth shut?

controlling the story of the sexual or dynamic encounter –
Are you the one who comes up with the fantasy or direction of the encounter? The leader, vs the follower or people pleaser?

determining the relationship and your role in it –
where are the two+ of you headed in your relationship? Is it an affair or a longer term dynamic? Will you be mono or poly? Is that ever likely to change? Will you have kids? Get married? How will you adapt your relationship? Do you plan that? Or just go with the flow?

negotiating for your safety and how you are treated during and around it
Are you allowed space to be you within the relationship, without being bullied? Do you stand up for yourself? Are boundaries set and adhered to? Do you re-evaluate when things start to lag or get tense? Or just plod along thinking everyone goes thru bad patches? You’d rather get a divorce than talk things thru or get therapy? Do you recognize what abuse and neglect are? What would you do if your partner cheated? Leave or work it out?

Do you make your own decisions? Or have to run things by your partner? Is there a type of decision you would have to check with them on? Do you have self determination? Can you decide who your friends are and make plans with them? Pick out your own wardrobe? Decide how your pocket money gets spent?

Do you plan your own goals? Or is everything about the two+ of you?

and at the end of it. are you dominant/submissive or are you just self determined, strong and aware of who you are as a sexual being? Do you feel safe in expressing your sexuality with your partner?

Dommie: Par Excellence (a story)

Dommie: Par Excellence

Dommie had been coming to this club for some time. At first she had just wanted to suss the group out, but was now wanting to rise in the ranks.

So after watching and choosing where she first wanted to go, Dommie had learned a new trick, (well skill too but…) and she was eager to show it to the ladies at the next gathering. So she practiced and practiced. She showed it to a few friends who she knew had mastered it. And practiced some more, after their notes.

Until the night arrived. The ladies were gathered and primed for their reviews of the presenters. Eager to accept excelled practice. Unwilling to tolerate less than that.

Dommie sat waiting for her turn to present. Counting the moves, and seeing them in her head. Visualizing success. And even seeing recovering, if things went belly up. And getting nervous. She really wanted to succeed.

Finally her turn arrived. She took the stage with the song I’m Every Woman playing.

I ain’t braggin’ ’cause I am the one
You just ask me, oo, it shall be done
And don’t bother to compare,
I’ve got it (I’ve got it)

And did a few flashes and flourishes to get their interest before she got serious about her demo. She got a few claps and laughs. And was pleased. Excited to continue. So she did.

With a little snark and sarcasm to Just a Girl

The moment that I step outside
So many reasons
For me to run and hide
I can’t do the little things
I hold so dear
‘Cause it’s all those little things
That I fear

Dommie flirted and acted coy when she caught a few winks and giggles in the audience. She knew her sisters got what she was saying just fine. And she needed that energy to carry her forward. The right energy had to build up to the crescendo and so far so good!

She felt she was in the right headspace to continue and so was the audience. It had to be a dance. That’s why the music was so important. To trigger the right tone to her act. So the next song was You Don’t Own Me

I don’t tell you what to say
I don’t tell you what to do
So just let me be myself
That’s all I ask of you
I’m young and I love to be young
I’m free and I love to be free
To live my life the way I want
To say and do whatever I please

And Dommie put on her stern teacher face. And made sure they could see that she was dead serious. She caught a few nods and grins in the audience. Even saw a few of the ladies hold a neighbour’s shoulder in empathy. Perfect! They were right there with her.

So she could proceed! And did too.

She cued the next song. She wanted to show she had learned from error and making wrong choices here, so she did a few miss-cues and false moves, then corrected them. All to the song Roar

You held me down, but I got up (hey!)
Already brushing off the dust
You hear my voice, your hear that sound
Like thunder, gonna shake the ground
You held me down, but I got up
Get ready ’cause I had enough
I see it all, I see it now

And she saw a few of her mentors smile when they saw her hard work in practice and her growth included in the demo. They seemed happy and even impressed by that. They saw it as a sense of humour and honour in her and liked it. Or so she thought, as she was still on the stage. She hoped she got their smiles’ meaning right.

So she pressed forward.

Having learned her lessons, she showed them the progress to the song I’m Coming Out

I’ve got to show the world
All that I want to be
And all my billities
There’s so much more to me
Somehow, I have to make them
Just understand
I got it well in hand

A demo within a demo. And she saw a few friends, who were more advanced than her in the group, beam with pride! Whew! She was almost there and everything was going just as she had hoped, practiced, and planned for.

Just a little more then. one more segment. And she cued the last song for her demo. The song that might get her into the club within the club. Her first foot inside the door, anyways.

She had chosen Titanium
as her triumph song.

I’m bulletproof nothing to lose
Fire away, fire away
Ricochet, you take your aim
Fire away, fire away
You shoot me down but I won’t fall
I am titanium
You shoot me down but I won’t fall
I am titanium, I am titanium

She wanted a fast song for the crescendo. But more important, she wanted a song that said grace, courage and strength under fire. And she thought this was the right song for it. And she seemed to be right.

She showed her best flash and flourish attached to her best moves and the audience started to clap before she was even done the demo. So as the last chords flew she was beaming and they were on their feet, encouraging her best.

Her demo slid home. And she bowed. Then dropped a curtsy to the front row where the mgmt of the club sat with a few of their best and brightest Masters. And then she ran into the wings and took a deep breath. One of her friends met her there and gave her a huge hug of congratulations. And they went to watch the rest of the demos.

At the end of the night, the Master whose class she had been wanting to enter came up to her and handed her a card, inviting her to her class. Dommie couldn’t get the grin off her face. She was on the first rung of the ladder now. And had no intention of getting off of it.

strong like Domme, soft like sub

strong like Domme, soft like sub

strong like sub, soft like Domme (a story/ish)

And it all begins with I am Woman

Learning from a place of knowing nothing. Of surrendering to someone else. And finding points of agreement. Of innocence becoming knowledge, of knowledge becoming wisdom.

Oh yes, I am wise
But it’s wisdom born of pain
Yes, I’ve paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to, I can do anything
I am strong (Strong)
I am invincible (Invincible)
I am woman

At least that was the way Dommie came up. Knowing that she had/has so much to learn. And can’t ever lose sight of that. But that was the type of mentorship she had too. Dommes who served to learn. Dommes who submitted to authority to gain insight. First came the pain, then the recovery and strength, then the wisdom.

And picking was hard. Sometimes you stepped wrong and ended up with ego raining down on you. With abuse or neglect that only taught you to survive

Oh no, not I, I will survive
Oh, as long as I know how to love, I know I’ll stay alive
I’ve got all my life to live
And I’ve got all my love to give and I’ll survive
I will survive, hey, hey

and heal. What not to do. Which is also an important lesson.

Other times you learned the lessons you actually wanted to take forward to your subs, to your slaves when you had mastered the lessons. If that day ever came. And that all began with a little R.E.S.P.E.C.T

Find out what it means to me
Take care, TCB

From the ashes of defeat come strength. From being full of hurt and fear comes anger, then sorrow. And then finally comes acceptance that life hurts. You cannot breathe without having tried to love and live. How can you be human otherwise? How can your soul be full of grace if you have no understanding, no empathy for others? How can you be beautiful ?

No matter what we do (no matter what we do)
No matter what we say (no matter what we say)
We’re the song inside the tune (yeah, oh yeah)
Full of beautiful mistakes

We fall, we get back up. We crash and burn, we heal. We err, we learn. And we find that moment of relief and strength when we look in the mirror and can say to ourselves hey I’m still standing

Don’t you know I’m still standing better than I ever did
Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid
I’m still standing after all this time
Picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind
I’m still standing yeah yeah yeah
I’m still standing yeah yeah yeah

And not only have I learned the lessons i sought out, but life lessons as well. I’ve learned to recognize who my teachers are in life. They’re not always the ones who are gentle with us. Or kind. Sometimes they take us to a point where we are ashes on the ground. And only our inner divine can bring us back. We find out at that moment if we are the fat goose on the table or a phoenix.

And that is when we choose the road ahead of us. We become fireworks

Do you know that there’s still a chance for you
‘Cause there’s a spark in you
You just gotta ignite the light
And let it shine
Just own the night
Like the Fourth of July
‘Cause baby you’re a firework
Come on show ’em what your worth
Make ’em go “Oh, oh, oh!”
As you shoot across the sky-y-y
Baby you’re a firework
Come on let your colors burst
Make ’em go “Oh, oh, oh!”
You’re gonna leave ’em fallin’ down down down
You don’t have to feel like a waste of space
You’re original, cannot be replaced

And in having taken this road, which may not be the road for all, or even many, you learn to trust yourself and master yourself. Whether you serve and submit, or dominate. Or some hybrid between the two states of being you.

You become the best you you can be. According to the wisdom gained by Dommie anyway. FWIW