The Rules of Sacrifice (the larger meaning and how kink fits in it)

The Rules of Sacrifice (the larger meaning and how kink fits in it)

We often write about submission and suffering in kink relationships. But I don’t really see discussions about sacrifice. Are they so entwined that we don’t see them as separate? If we submit to another’s will, is it a given that we sacrifice for them of ourselves? And to what degree? If we do submit, suffer and sacrifice, whose obligation is it to care for and protect our self? Theirs or are we still responsible for our own survival?

Is it the bottom and/or submissive who is the only one on the journey of sacrifice? Or are there ways the tops and dominants sacrifice, suffer and submit in their service to the greater good and those under their care and protection? Things like time, attention, and resources.

Are ordeals and trials a form of sacrificial path as well as suffering (pain, blood/bruising, task adherence & fatigue, deprivation, humiliation)? Are these aspects of the dynamic or solely for the bottom or submissive to achieve?

….. What is sacrifice?

types of sacrifice

  • human sacrifice – their life, safety for the greater good
  • animal sacrifice – for sustenance and forgiveness, appeasement
  • relationships – where there is inequality between the people within.
    Do you give your power to another?
    Do you give your time to another?
    At what cost? With what limits?
  • religious observance ( ie Lent) where you deprive yourself by giving up things you value, enjoy, that ease your life to humble yourself before your god(s)

to give up, or permit injury or disadvantage to, for the sake of something else

  • what you intend to give up has to be something you value, that means something to you. That would be hard for you to do.
  • Suffer (deprivation, pain), sacrifice, service to/protection of others, and work/effort go together.
  • Obedience, humility and reverence go together.
  • meant to appease a higher being, or ask for blessings or forgiveness from a higher being
  • act should achieve something beyond personal gain. It should be for someone else. Or attached to a greater good/purpose.
  • act within a way that is consistent with your claimed religions and affiliated group/god(s)
  • to share when you yourself will not have enough. (This doesn’t preclude protecting your life, health or the relationships you have with others though. It means feeling the loss.)
  • something significant in your life, your being has to change, there has to be impact on you to consider it to be a sacrifice.

eg of a religious or spiritual definition of sacrifice

Vedic purposes

‘Manusmruti is considered to be the first ethical law book of the world for the human society, scribed during the immediate post-Vedic age. The compendium has prescribed to perform five sacrifices (Pancha Yajnya) as a part of routine activity in daily life of a house-holder. These five sacrifices elaborate one’s socio-ecological responsibilities are such as:
(1) Rrushi Yajnya- (sacrifices for the source of knowledge – teachers),
(2) Pitru Yajnya (responsibility for the parents, ancestors and self genetic system),
(3) Deva Yajnya (protection for the environmental powers as Gods),
(4) Bhoota Yajnya (care for the protection of biodiversity) and

  • (5) Nrru Yajnya (Positive interaction with fellow human beings of the society).
    Men (people) should be committed to show obligation to the above environmental constituents as their ethical and ecological responsibilities.’ (sic)

what do these words mean to you?

And are they linked so much they’re inseparable?

  • suffering
  • submission
  • sacrifice

Something to ponder as you talk with your partner(s) and community.

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