Q – By whose standards are you a problem? – Mental Health POV
- Were you the kid who obeyed your parents? Helped with chores, was in at curfew, helped with younger kids? Did you sit with grandparents or elderly aunts and uncles and hear their stories? Did you do your homework?
When parents are busy with their relationship, other kids, jobs/careers, how much attention do you need?
- Were you the kid who acted up in school? The bully or the shy one? The daydreamer or the kid who had their hand up first? Were you a loner or the popular kid?
In a crowd of 20 – 40 kids in class, the teacher is looking for a controllable child, who follows directions well and behaves, even if they’re out of the room for a minute.
- When you worked, were you self motivated, at work on time, did all your tasks, rarely ever took time off for holidays, sick time, parental leave?
Companies and bosses want to do their own work, not have to make sure you’re doing yours.
- Did you attend services and give money to your religion? Did you participate in events and education opps? Did you participate in decision making?
Faith practices are supposed to be as members of a community. To buffer each other from the outside world and support each other in daily life struggles. The leaders want to count your head in the group. To know they can come to you if the group needs something. To know who you are.
- Do you have friends? Do your friends count on you for parties and fun? Or are you also the one they count on when they need support?
- Do your neighbours think you’re weird, rude, noisy, nosy, a gossip or a fun person to be around? Ready with a pie for bake sales, a BBQ night to gather, a dancer at a street party, someone who often adds to the kitty when there is a fund drive. Or isolated.
- Do you know the rules of etiquette and civil behaviour? Can you adapt with the situation and people in it? Can you manage your own moods/self soothe? Or do you need something to help you control them?
….. People are often selfish.
People and your relationships with them are often what makes you stumble in life. Many are unpredictable, moody, critical and demanding. And they expect you to be what they want, vs your best self. Many are worried and sad, at least at times and want your support, whether you have it to give or not. And few return it when you need it.
Yes your groups and how you interact with the members are important, but can you also stand alone if you need to?
When the social workers or police go out collecting stories about you for an evaluation, they come to the people nearby and ask what they think of you. So have you ever thought of what they’d hear?