LGBTQ+ – How is Canada doing?

LGBTQ+ – How is Canada doing?

  • gay marriage legally recognized nationwide with the enactment of the Civil Marriage Act on July 20, 2005. Canada is one of the first countries in the world to change our laws.
  • Most Canadian provinces cover the cost of gender reassignment surgery. But the waiting list is long.
  • conversion therapy just got banned in the entirety of Canada. It is now a criminal act to offer or profit from this. Even leaving Canada to get it elsewhere is a crime.
  • Serving in the military is open to LGBTQ+ people. And they received an apology for previous exclusions.
  • adoption by same sex parents is legal, but varies from province to province.
  • medically assisted birthing is still an issue as the pregnant parent is the only one with legal rights to the child. The other must adopt their own child.

So progress is being made 🙂

In Theory, Anyone Can Communicate, Right?

In Theory, Anyone Can Communicate, Right?

But some find it easier to do than others. We talk about the kinds of love, sexuality and even power when it comes to BDSM and kink. It’s all seen as normal. But how often do you discuss communication styles with your cohorts? Do you know what they are and how to practice them so they’re easier to do for you and your friends and partners?

Even family….They’re our first people. As a baby we watch and learn as our parents and sibs do their thing. And many families really suck at this. Instead of calmly talking over issues, they yell, or leave. Add in issues like addictions and you have a mess. Do you know how to resolve things without drama?

……types of communication

source Chronemics is the study of the use of time in nonverbal communication. The way that an individual would perceive and value time, structure our time and react to time is a powerful communication tool, and helps set the stage for the communication process. Across cultures, time perception plays a large role in the nonverbal communication process. Time perceptions include punctuality, willingness to wait, and interactions. The use of time can affect lifestyles, daily agendas, speed of speech, movements and how long people are willing to listen. Time can also be used as an indicator of status. For example, in most companies the boss can interrupt progress to hold an impromptu meeting in the middle of the work day, yet the average worker would have to make an appointment to see the boss. The way different cultures perceive time can influence communication as well. Cultures are usually put into two time system categories: monochronic and polychronic.

In the Case of Monopolies – When Businesses Hold the Market Hostage

In the Case of Monopolies – When Businesses Hold the Market Hostage

When it comes to arts or services, it’s pretty hard to completely shut out a competitor. They may not be able to grow big, but their local moves and variations can still happen. Like an artist can invite friends to pubs they’re playing at, or have a show at home. They can even cover another artist’s work, but they can’t call it theirs. ie copyrights. Arts and services are more variable than businesses are. There are things that can be done in businesses to curb the market. ie patents. When there is an innovation made and no one else can copy it. Or act in competition against it.

We have a sense of what a monopoly is because of the antitrust lawsuit against Microsoft some years back.

And in the struggle between Global North and Global South, we’re seeing patents misused again, this time by Big Pharma. Poorer countries are being shut out of the market and can’t get vaccines for their people. They also cannot make anything similar due to the patents on the vaccines.

You could in theory use the word monopoly in relation to polycules where there is one dominant who empowers themselves by restricting their stable to them being the only penis or pussy in the group. They can play with others, just not the same gender as the dominant.

Or even to monogamous marriages. One man one woman.

It means that something that may happen naturally is restricted, whether that is communication, information, or whatever. It limits the hubs in a network.

Capitalism is supposed to be based on a free market system. So isn’t that working counter to the ideals when monopolies are tolerated?

What do you think should happen when companies or govts are caught engaging in this behaviour? Where does your country stand on this issue?

Hubs in Social Network Theory – Who Do You Follow and Why?

Hubs in Social Network Theory – Who Do You Follow and Why?

When we’re talking about something like a virus, we call someone who is the hub of a network a super-spreader. When we are talking about social media we call someone with a lot of followers an influencer.

They are the origin of a lot of contact points in the network. What they do matters a lot. But are they the hub because they deserve that role? Or did they get it by default?

  • They are attached to the right group when it’s in power (temple leader, politician),
  • they are a talented artist yes but they were promoted by the right agent, the right publisher, at the right time.
  • And media has been a huge promotion for many since magazines, radio, TV, movies came out.
  • And most recently social media sites, (esp youtube and spotify where you can find music from around the world or promote your idieology to more than your caucus or sycophants.)
  • And for good or bad, gossip esp about sex sells. If a story is told about you that titillates and you can ride the adverse publicity, then it actually promotes you to followers somehow.

ie The 60s were a time for protest and folk artists, song writers. So people like Bob Dylan rose in the ranks. Would he have succeeded at another time though?

Do you remember sports stars because you love the game, their ability? Or do you remember them because scandals came out about their sexual behaviour? (ie Tiger Woods)

Something about them gets you interested, but what is it? Are they charming, cute, assertive, a good leader, are they talented, do you and they share values, does your group follow them and you went along for the ride?

Was there anything working against their rise to status? Is it real or manufactured, like algorithms. Like competitors, or industry issues like payola., were they in the USA, (in an urban centre for arts or sports, like Los Angeles, New York) or in the UK (in an urban centre like London). Where things were set up to catch the trends quickly and sometimes all you had to do was be in the right place at the right time. A face or voice they thought was on target. Are you in a country that is poor, off the media track, or were you born in a G7 nation and got noticed by the current party in power? Was there something that showed off your skill set to the party leaders and the media? Love or hate of the media can mean you get attention.

It can also be a negative thing like parents telling you it’s not ok to like that artist (the devil is in their music) or be friends with that person that gets your interest (they’re a bad influence/always in trouble).

That’s mostly at the macro level. But it could also be smaller, like the people who have a lot of followers on smaller sites, the popular crowd at school, that one supervisor at work that everyone likes and can ask you to stay overtime when you’re dog tired. Your own little gaggle of friends may have that one who usually comes up with the ideas of what to talk about or do next.

That is the hub in a network. How many contacts /points of influence they have is the only distinction.

Friday, December 3 – International Day of Persons with Disabilities 2021 – How is Canada Doing?

Friday, December 3 – International Day of Persons with Disabilities 2021 – How is Canada Doing?

What has the Canadian federal govt done for people with disabilities? (PWD)

PWD are not a homogenous group. They may have been in an accident, been burned in a fire, injured at work, been a victim of violence, in military service or have an acute or chronic illness. They may be self medicating and have developed an addiction. Their disability may be of mind &/or body. And in some ways, there is a presumption that aging makes you more vulnerable to illness or injury, so would seniors be included in your POV?

Canada is considered to have some of the best in the world social systems for it’s people. But do we? Which tier of govt is responsible for the disabled and their financial and social supports? That depends….. If you’re in the military, in a fed prison, or Indigenous (esp on reserves) it’s the feds all the way. If you are/were a fed worker too. It’s possible you might also be eligible for federal pensions, if you have a long term condition. It’s harder to get.

The feds also transfer money to the provinces and territories to fund social programs. What they do with that?…. It depends on the party in power. Conservatives tend to claw back, reduce funds and programs, and really be stingy in qualification and treat you like you’re a fraud if you are on their rolls. They’d rather pay for inspectors than put the money into the care and support of PWD.

We have a supposedly universal system of healthcare. But it doesn’t cover things like eyes, teeth, meds, or psych therapies. And you have to qualify for things like physio or occupational therapy. So no, it doesn’t cover everything. But it’s not often that someone would go bankrupt for costs of healthcare. It’s there, but sometimes there is an issue of regional access. And during Covid 19, safe access. Though we do have a telehealth system which was amped up in 2020 to include Skype visits with your primary care providers, med and psych.

Compared to other countries, we do better. But PWD (including seniors and veterans) can and do end up homeless and destitute. Can be and are impoverished and need supports like food banks to get thru the month. Every month. PWD are often reliant on their families. Are left feeling like their only option is to apply for MAID.

So are we good to PWD? Not good enough. We need a guaranteed income that recognizes not everyone is able to work. But if anyone tries to blame the feds, 8/10 x they have it wrong. So please start looking at your premier and his/her team.

Many citizens don’t know which branch of govt funds things like WSIB (workers), veterans, seniors, or PWD. And they blame the feds. When we have a liberal govt in power, we tend to get more services. And with conservatives, we get fewer.


Increases in Justin Trudeau’s time as PM (every little bit helps?)

For Veterans of Canada

Pension For Life

April 1, 2019, Pension for Life (PFL) was introduced. Pension for Life includes three new benefits: Pain and Suffering Compensation; Additional Pain and Suffering Compensation; and Income Replacement Benefit. The Pension for Life Benefits package is intended to meet the following objectives:

  • Providing recognition, income support and better overall stability to Canadian Armed Forces (CAF) members and Veterans who are living with a disability due to a service-related injury and/or illness.
  • Providing a holistic package that reintroduces lifelong monthly pain and suffering payments; implement a new recognition benefit, and consolidate six of seven existing income-related financial benefits.
  • Addressing concerns raised by military and Veteran communities and families by empowering CAF members and Veterans living with a disability, caused by a service-related illness or injury, to choose the form of compensation that works best for them and their families.



  • Old Age Security (OAS), based on years of living in Canada, and
  • Canada Pension Plan (CPP), based on years of work in Canada and the amount paid into the plan.
    Effective Jan. 1, 2018, CPP payments
    will increase by 1.5 per cent for those already receiving benefits. For 2018, the maximum CPP retirement benefit for new recipients age 65 will be $1,134.17 per month, which represents a $20 increase from the beginning of 2017.

OAS benefits, which consist of the basic OAS pension, the guaranteed income supplement and allowances, will rise by 0.2 per cent for the first quarter of 2018 in comparison to the end of last year. As of Jan. 1, 2018, the basic OAS pension will be $586.66 per month, which represents an increase of $8.13 over the the first quarter of last year.


housing and homelessness

budget plan


Covid 19 supports for thru United Way

seniors – extra needs
vulnerable people


retraining for people with disabilities

funding programs


##autonomy in death/disease
changes in federal law on MAID


The Human Struggle (Conformity, Assimilation vs Agency, Autonomy – Learned Helplessness)

The Human Struggle (Conformity, Assimilation vs Agency, Autonomy – Learned Helplessness)

Bonding is a normal part of life. We join with groups or cluster partly because we’re born into it, and because the group provides us with safety from predators and help if there is a storm or other disaster such as war.
And all the group asks of us is to follow their rules. That doesn’t seem unreasonable, does it?

  • It can be if they are either inconsistent, harsh or rigid.
  • It can be if you don’t agree with them.

What kind of push back do you get from the group if you refuse to adhere to their rules? You could be branded as a criminal or determined to be mentally ill. You could be locked up in a hospital or jail. You could be excommunicated. All depending on the force or power the group has and is willing to use to impose it. On how much you can rely on your cohorts to not rat you out to the group, if they catch you. How safe would you be? Or feel?

Do you give in? Do you comply when in public and do what you will in secret? (hypocrisy) And at what point does the group crush your soul to get compliance? (learned helplessness) How much conflict are you willing to endure? How much conflict will be endured by the group? Because there will be some.

Family or community, religion or state, this is a basic question.


source 1

  • While conformity has advantages, it becomes problematic when people feel pressured to mask or cover aspects of their personalities.
  • We all try to conform to some extent. Studies have shown that people conform to in-group members and take care to diverge from out-groups.
  • Pushing the boundaries of conformity is essential for innovation and for allowing people to express their true selves.


source 2

Conformity is a type of social influence involving a change in belief or behavior in order to fit in with a group.
This change is in response to

  • real (involving the physical presence of others) or
  • imagined (involving the pressure of social norms / expectations) group pressure.
    Conformity can also be simply defined as “yielding to group pressures” (Crutchfield, 1955). Group pressure may take different forms, for example bullying, persuasion, teasing, criticism, etc. Conformity is also known as majority influence (or group pressure).

The term conformity is often used to indicate an agreement to the majority position, brought about either by a desire to ‘fit in’ or be liked (normative) or because of a desire to be correct (informational), or simply to conform to a social role (identification).

Kelman (1958) distinguished between three different types of conformity:

  • Compliance (or group acceptance)
    This occurs ‘when an individual accepts influence because he hopes to achieve a favorable reaction from another person or group
  • Internalization (genuine acceptance of group norms)
    Internalization always involves public and private conformity. A person publicly changes their behavior to fit in with the group, while also agreeing with them privately.
  • Identification (or group membership)
    ‘when an individual accepts influence because he wants to establish or maintain a satisfying self-defining relationship to another person or group’
  • Ingratiational
    This is when a person conforms to impress or gain favor/acceptance from other people.

Deutsch and Gerrard (1955) identified two reasons why people conform:

Normative Conformity

  • Yielding to group pressure because a person wants to fit in with the group. E.g. Asch Line Study.
  • Conforming because the person is scared of being rejected by the group.
  • This type of conformity usually involves compliance – where a person publicly accepts the views of a group but privately rejects them.
    Informational Conformity
  • This usually occurs when a person lacks knowledge and looks to the group for guidance.
  • Or when a person is in an ambiguous (i.e. unclear) situation and socially compares their behavior with the group.
  • This type of conformity usually involves internalization – where a person accepts the views of the groups and adopts them as an individual.

Q – How Does Popularity Get Tracked? On or Offline

Q – How Does Popularity Get Tracked? On or Offline

What does it take to be popular? (Beauty, grace, bigotry?….) Has this changed over time? Do most people even want to be popular? What can popularity be used for?

It’s not something that I’ve ever really sought. As a kid I was too shy to want that many people swarming around me. And as a kid and as an adult, I much prefer connection to popularity. Whether it’s by having a relationship of trust and respect or hobbies and common interests. I like to be around people I like. Don’t you?

That doesn’t mean I don’t take note when someone is popular and wonder how they arrived there. Esp on social media. Is it because they’re really all that? Or are they getting pushed harder than they really deserve by some algorithm?

We know the social media monsters and search engines use factors we might not to define what hits the charts, for a fact. So why do we fall into their traps?

Among your friends, how many of them would interact if you weren’t there? Do you have different groups for different hobbies you have? Or a support group that just hang out no matter what you do outside that circle? If your family weren’t your blood, do you actually seek each other out and enjoy, look forward to the time you spend together?

My family are gossipy, hyper-critical old hags who’d rather drink themselves into oblivion than have a chat about the state of the world or why we believe what we do. Which may be why I’m estranged from them. They don’t know the meaning of the words kind or nice.

What is the glue that holds you to a relationship? Maybe even long past sense. You have a childhood friend you still call, even though you have nothing in common anymore. Or an SO who is more trouble than passion.

We all bond, it’s a prime directive in our DNA, physical, emotional, spiritual, sexual. But is that saying that these bonds have to be with people that we don’t like? That we hate?

Do you have answers for these questions? All I have is more questions. lol


  • Perceived popularity is measured by asking people who the most popular or socially important people in their social group are.
  • Sociometric popularity is measured by objectively measuring the number of connections a person has to others in the group.

A person can have high perceived popularity without having high sociometric popularity, and vice versa. wiki definition