Your Submission and Service ARE Gifts, But So is My Dominance & Leadership

The /s side of the slash is often written about on kink sites as the one that does the giving. And they do. But so do the D/’s in the relationship. We give our time, attention, support…our sexual and social skills and often our friendship and love. And we bear a LOT of the weight in the guilt when things go wrong or when the law gets involved. Have you ever heard of an /s facing charges? And it’s pretty rare when you see the /s get the flack on kink sites for a break up.

Bottom line, if both people in the relationship aren’t giving and taking, then the dynamic is abusive. It’s better if there is a balancing out, not a tally or score sheet.

At the beginning, the D/ & /s should negotiate then agree to the terms before the D/ takes the lead. From a place of trust and respect, and knowing what you want out of the exchange. Preferably from an equal strength position. Either you’re both fairly new and open to an educational journey together or at similar experience trying to explore a new aspect or trade advanced skills.

At least that’s my position…. Do you agree?