Why Do Some People Compete Over Pain and Victimization?

I’ve been watching the same stories that you have, all over social media these days. I see the posts made. But even more, I see the comments that compare pain and who had it worse.

I think people respond to pain and those who wish to harm them in different ways. To different degrees. But underneath is a person who was just trying to live their life and along came a truck and ran them over.

• Maybe just their foot and they needed a cast for six weeks.
• Or maybe they got chronic pain in the foot and never fully recovered.
• Maybe the pain spread into their legs and lower back because they were always trying to compensate to take the weight off the foot.
• Maybe it was just their brain saying ‘ouch foot hurts!’ that they couldn’t shut off.
  And eventually their friends and family lost patience and they lost support they needed. Because that kind of pain is still real to them. To their brain.

Maybe their body was actually run over and developed multiple issues.

• Maybe they recovered after multiple surgeries and lots of rehab.
• Maybe they became addicted to not only pain killers, but also to having the support of their medical team and family and friends.
  And again people lost patience with them and they lost support they needed.

Maybe at some point(s) they died, and were resuscitated.

• And they got addicted to the rush and whatever visions they saw during their crisis.
• And delved into alternate social systems and explanations to explain what they saw and felt.
• And their efforts were seen as oddity and they were treated as weak or of frail mind, and given psychiatric names for it.

Does it matter? Wherever they placed in this, it is all within a ‘normal’ range of things that can happen when a truck runs over your foot or your body. If you didn’t respond in one of these ways, now that would be abnormal.

But we don’t treat people the same. We vilify or deify people and it has more to do with us than them. They are in pain and it’s our needs that get met more often than theirs.

It’s fair to say you cannot be available to support someone in need. Maybe you have a foot fetish and cannot see a broken one without nausea and fainting. (silly I know but you get it right?)

• Some people just aren’t good carers.
• Some people have very little empathy.
  It doesn’t mean they have nothing else to offer the world. Just don’t put them at a bedside. It’s not playing to their strength.

This is the base discussion under the Meghan and Harry situation. the George Floyd trial and the woman who was murdered this week too. People are comparing the stories and discussing endlessly how what they know is the right take on it, and how it compares, rather than listening and seeing what this story has to teach us about the human condition. As a stand alone event. That is relevant to the people going thru it. And getting derailed by extraneous factors.

• Does it matter if Meghan always dreamed of marrying a prince and got her wish? And now she is hurt and some people are pointing and cheering rather than showing empathy.
• Does it matter if Floyd’s family got a settlement? Does that mean that Floyd’s case is over and the cops should go back to service?
• Does it matter if the woman who was murdered was killed by a woman, man or cop? Dead is dead and her family will miss her.

Pain is pain and we should spend less time analysing it all over social media and MSM and more time empathizing with the people going thru it. IMO

What do you think?