1-800-sex-work and Covid 19 (a story/ish)

1-800-sex-work and Covid 19

Patsy had been convinced for some time that her husband was using up his sexual attention on someone else. But she wasn’t the type to go snooping or hire a PI. So she chewed her fingernails and went to bed with a headache. Even though she knew that wasn’t the right way to go about things. She couldn’t stop herself.

Until one day when she was sorting his laundry and found a letter.

Dear Faithful and Avid Customer,

In this time of constraint and worry we’ve gotten a lot of new trade. And we’ve decided to vary our price list in reflection of their interests.

Please do adhere to this list:

  • For gimps who say their neck collar is on too tight, we encourage you to pay with stock in Mondelēz International who make Halls cough drops.
  • For those who claim their ropes are too tight and have sore hands and feet as a result, we encourage you to pay with stock in Bayer who make Aspirin.
  • For those who claim our chats are making them “so hawt”, we encourage you to pay with stock in companies that make thermometers and ice packs.
  • For those who suggest that our prices are too high, yet engage our operators in lengthy chats they cannot get away from, we encourage you to pay with stock in trans-national companies that make or transport toilet paper, cereal, soya milk, baby needs, and bread as they always seem to be out at our local grocers.

We’ve asked for stock in these companies, since you’d have to have a warehouse of them to capture our financial interests otherwise.

If you refuse to be guided by these price changes, we will have no choice but to block your number from our main switchboard.


1800sexwork Mgmt.


Patsy sat and thought about this letter for some time.

Wondering just how she felt about the underlying messages:

  • Her husband wasn’t getting what he needed from her and he was going outside their marraige.
  • To a service that was obviously directed toward kink.
  • That he used sufficiently often that the service was advising him of price changes.

Patsy showed a friend the letter, cuzz she just didn’t know what to do. Her friend suggested she do nothing. As long as he was on the phone, he wouldn’t be bringing any side effects home.

Patsy thought that was logical.

Except for one thing…. She kind of LIKED the thought of living those fantasies with her husband.

So she went shopping instead…

Her list included a gimp suit, rope and candles. She also opened a money market account and bought stocks in the suggested companies. After all, they sounded like good investments. And she was nothing if not pragmatic, If people must hoard, she could profit a little from their nonsense, couldn’t she?

When her husband opened the packages? At first he paled a little. Then he grinned and found some baby powder so he could get the suit on with ease.

Tonight was going to be a fun night at their Casa.

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