The Pandemic and it’s Master Blogger (an internet fable)

Master sent his students out to tell the story of the new plague that hit town. With one mission…. get people to care about the plague. And all he wanted them to do was wash their hands. Seems simple, right?

Each student thought they had the mission right, and just the thing. So they wrote their post, full of facts and mission statements. Full of calm in some cases and hysteria in others.

And his students posted before they showed the theme they had picked to their master. After all, blogging was easy. Anyone could do it, right? (famous last words)

Some of the students decided to tell the people they should worry. Well yes, they should. As much as is reasonable. But some people don’t do reason well. When told to worry, they panic. Then they do silly things like buy toilet paper for the next century. And little Timmy had none the next time he had to take a dump. Worse, Cathy had IBS and needed TP several times everyday, but there was none. Soon Timmy and Cathy were feeling helpless, and TBH were rather smelly. While the TP got damp in a basement and it ended up useless to everyone.

Or they rise up in mobs and smash shop windows and snatch all the TP in the place and fight over who will go home with it. Some people ended up in jail, and some in the morgue, when their face got in the way of someone getting that last roll of TP. And there were the stampedes. Never corner someone who is in a panic.

The students who wrote about worry realized they had done the wrong thing and ran to Master for help.
TG Master was a Master because his writing came from a place of magic, rather than emotion. He cast a spell
🎤 🎧 Abra Cadabra Alla Cazoo Cazaam •♫♪¸¸.♫♪*•♫♪¸
Bring this crowd back •♫♪¸¸.♫♪*•♫♪¸
To an even tack •♫♪¸¸.♫♪*•♫♪¸
Abra Cadabra Alla Cazoo Cazaam 🎤 🎧
that added humour and choice to the students’ works and the panic began to dissipate. The people felt they had some control again. And the hoarding soon began to calm down.
Other students decided to get people to act. So they sent out a rally cry. A mission statement full of facts, and bleeding heart stories. Sent out to get people a little angry. But mostly to move, to do something. They meant to wash their hands.

But out of anger comes bigotry. People want someone to blame, someone to shame. A scapegoat they can lynch in their rage. They went to the house of the local TP producer and seller and killed his family. Instead of gathering to their need and washing their hands. They came back with blood on them, not hands that were clean.
The students who wrote the calls to action realized they had done the wrong thing and ran to the Master for help.
TG Master was a Master because his writing came from a place of magic, rather than emotion. He cast a spell
🎤 🎧 Abra Cadabra Alla Cazoo Cazaam •♫♪¸¸.♫♪*•♫♪¸
Bring this crowd back •♫♪¸¸.♫♪*•♫♪¸
To an even tack •♫♪¸¸.♫♪*•♫♪¸
Abra Cadabra Alla Cazoo Cazaam 🎤 🎧
that added humour and choice to the students’ works and the rage began to dissipate. The people felt they had some control again. And the mobs and revenge seekers soon calmed down. As did the hate.

Another group of students thought they had just the ticket. They wrote essays full of facts and dispassionate pieces that provoked nothing. People were told every little thing they needed to know. In long, seemingly informed pieces that drove the crowd…. but only to sleep. There was nothing to attach to, nothing to do and it was just so full of information people couldn’t process it. It was like reading a dictionary.

The students who wrote the essays realized they had done the wrong thing and went to Master for help.
TG Master was a Master because his writing came from a place of magic, rather than emotion. He cast a spell
🎤 🎧 Abra Cadabra Alla Cazoo Cazaam •♫♪¸¸.♫♪*•♫♪¸
Bring this crowd back •♫♪¸¸.♫♪*•♫♪¸
To an even tack •♫♪¸¸.♫♪*•♫♪¸
Abra Cadabra Alla Cazoo Cazaam 🎤 🎧
that added humour and choice to the students’ works and the inertia began to dissipate. He broke down the information into smaller bites. The people were able to sit thru the reading without falling asleep. The people felt they had some control again.

And the last group of students wrote their pieces. They wanted to move people and gave them a list of things they could do. Without citing the reasons why or the people who would benefit. Or how it could change or protect their lives. Just a list of what was recommmended.

The people looked at the list and went back to their daily track. But walked more firmly within it. The track got deeper. And the people were soon buried in their movement. In their rut.

Some saw no reason to try, so they jumped off roofs. There was nothing they could do and no reason to do it either.
Some fucked and got high like their lives depended on it. Instead of washing their hands. None of them washed their hands. Their itchy, grabby, slutty hands were filthier than ever.

The students soon realized they had done something wrong and went running to Master for help.
TG Master was a Master because his writing came from a place of magic, rather than emotion. He cast a spell
🎤 🎧 Abra Cadabra Alla Cazoo Cazaam •♫♪¸¸.♫♪*•♫♪¸
Bring this crowd back •♫♪¸¸.♫♪*•♫♪¸
To an even tack •♫♪¸¸.♫♪*•♫♪¸
Abra Cadabra Alla Cazoo Cazaam 🎤 🎧
that added humour and choice to the students’ works and the ruts soon filled again and the flurry of sameness began to dissipate. The people felt they had some control again.
The Master called his students together and told them why they had not achieved the one thing needed in this situation. The washing of hands.

It seems in their effort to EXCITE, they had lacked knowledge of people and their ways of handling information and duress. They had tapped into the bad of humanity rather than getting them to do this one thing. Instead of exciting the people to wash their hands, they had INCITED them to panic, hate and learned helplessness.

People have to feel that things can be done that are within their own control, not the politicians, media or bloggers. That way they feel less manipulated.

When a true magician is behind the blog, people see the sense of doing that one thing. Which in this case is: washing their hands during a pandemic.

The students realized that before they sent out another blog, they’d run it by the Master. He was the one who knew about how humans were. How to work the bloggers’ spells. That is why he was the master after all. Right?
And they were here solely to learn at his knees. How to get the people to wash their hands, Not to manipulate the people, but to excite them.

And the Master? Was dead pleased with his students.