D’Awww the grand loves of the soap world…

D’Awww the grand loves of the soap world…

Nicki and Victor Newman from The Young and Restless

Brooke Logan and Ridge Forrester
from The Bold and the Beautiful it’s spin off soap.

Super couples every soap lover knows of and seem to want back together when they’re apart.
But what do they have going for them?

  • loyalty? Not always
  • honesty? noooope!
  • Fidelity? God no!
  • respect? Not bloody likely!
  • children they love and who love them? Ask me again next week…
  • familial support? lmao! You’re kidding, right??
  • I mean people fight and go thru lulls, right? They have crushes on other people, right? That is normal, but they don’t USUALLY break up over them… do they? Or pull a gun or fake their death to get away from them…

But hey they dress up nice on their multiple wedding days! (look away from the car wreck!)

As for Brooke and Ridge’s “song”? Unforgettable Bwa ha ha ha!! Someone needs amnesia and it ain’t me! j/s!

Yeah see this is why I stopped watching soaps 😛
Well except for Coronation Street,
but they don’t do this shit!

who owns the sandbox? Some analogies

who owns the sandbox? Some analogies

My dad was a farmer, then a general contractor. He also let some extended family board with us to make life more convenient and safer for all concerned. It also gave him reliable income when he was off season or it was a bad year. And the comparison between these states as to who owns the sandbox and gets to play there is interesting.

First as a farmer

Dad had a couple sons at the time. And he had times of the year when more hands were needed. There was also the time when my mom was dying and he needed to stay at the hospital with her. But the animals still needed to be fed and watered, stalls still needed to be mucked out… Work on the farm is never done. I’m sure there were times when the farm hands felt like they were doing more of the work than him. And I know my oldest brother felt more like the farm should be his, since he was on deck more than dad was. Sober more than dad was too. But whose farm is it? Dad’s… it’s his name on the deed.

Then as a general contractor

Dad built houses ground up. It depended on how fast it had to go up as to how many trades he got in to do the work. It was cheaper to do it with my brothers and him.
He also did renovations, mostly in off season. If the house had a foundation and a roof, it was a reno. Fall and winter were when those happened mostly.
Either way, when the house was finished, the family got the keys back and dad was gone. Now and then, he’d call for permission to show the house to a new client.
Did Dad go to their house when stepmonster told him to sleep on the couch and tell them he was staying over? Nope. But if the owner refused to pay, he put a lien on the house. He still couldn’t live or stay there though. He couldn’t kick them out.

And let’s not forget the trades and subtrades… He hired them, kept them running, their work meshing with each other in the order they all needed to be done. And like I said, he was the type who could have done everything himself, so they couldn’t get too “uppity” (Dad’s wording) with him or they’d be gone. It was all about how FAST things’d get done when he called them in. And some were cousins, so it was also about giving them work. (You’d think Dad’ve had a fortune, right? But nobody with nine kids and medical bills to pay has that). He could tell them what to do for this particular job, but they weren’t coming into his home, nor was he going to their homes or businesses and laying the law down for them. Not even if they were related or went to the same church, where he was an elder.
And the roofer didn’t take credit for the foundation guy’s work, or vice versa. Nor did they tell them how to do their job. Nor did the roofer do his work first. The foundation was always built first.

As a home owner to extended family.

My grandma and her son, who was stepmonster’s side lived with us. Grandma did all from when I was 7- to a year before her death. Unlce did till I was 12. He married then.
And we also had a cousin of ours on dad’s side stay with us one summer so he’d be closer to his job. His family farm was a few hours away.

My grandma, uncle and dad hated each other. And I’m sure they felt at times that they were paying more into the house than he was. They sure weren’t mean drunks terrorizing the household. Did they get to tell Dad what to do? Well, they did often do so. But Dad just ignored them or told them where the door was if they wanted things their way. And that is exactly how it was left.

Dad had 2-3 mortgages at any given time.

So in theory, the bank was the owner of the house. And if they had ever not received payment for a bit, they would have had the house seized out from under us. But until that day, when it was sold after all us kids left home, Dad was the registered owner of the house. I don’t think even step monster was on the title. And she cleaned it every week. Did the bankers ever come to our door and say we want a room for tonight, this week, or we want to show the house for people to buy if you fall behind? Nope. Did they ever demand entrance? Nope.
It’s a thing I’ve had to get used to as a tenant. And I still can’t say I like it much when landlords give me notice to enter for something I see as frivolous and could be done between tenants. I still have to let them in.

Dad borrowed money from the church

When Mom was dying, Dad didn’t have the money to keep up her treatments or pay for the hospital or care home bed she needed. If he didn’t pay, they’d have refused her care and she’d have been dead in weeks, rather than the years we had with her. She wasn’t really safe at home either. She was diagnosed because her personality and mood changed drastically.

Dad went to the church with hat in hand and they loaned him the money to keep her in care, us kids at home and to pay people to help out.

Did the church ever demand to enter, or threaten us with eviction? Nope. Not even after Dad left that particular church and went to the one in the next village.

What are these examples about?

A lot of people are trying to take ownership of something that isn’t theirs IMO here. The sandbox they refer to as theirs was built by another, raised by another and shared with us yes. Kind of like when a company goes from private to public. When they sell shares and have a board of trustees.

But it isn’t ours. We are at best a guest. Maybe a nuisance tenant who is rude and messy and really ought to be kicked out. Who is beligerant and often combative to the owner/landlord. We have stolen everything of value to the owner and tried to have the OWNER and their friends forcibly evicted FFS! (How do we justify that??)

these are my thoughts when I hear straight people calling the leather, old guard and the kink scene theirs.

I think if you want to get technical about it, with that attitude, you’re a home invader, not a guest anymore even. You’re appropriating the gay culture and trying to kick them off their property.

So try to remember that next time you get grabby with the toys in the sandbox or try to sleep in the owner’s bed.

I think they have a LOT to teach us, and I do value their lessons. I style myself after those lessons. But never without giving homage to those who designed it. To the home owner. To the architects and builders. I think that is the difference. I know where my little piece of the sandbox is, what my actual authority is, and I don’t intrude on the owner’s rights or deny their history.