The Toast Master Went Shopping for Clones – O.o say what now?? (a story)

 

The Toast Master Went Shopping for Clones – O.o say what now??

Times were getting thin and Toast Master (TM) needed more butts in the pews, I mean seats. 😛 So he gave some thought to how he could do this:

If TM advertised, then JUST ANYONE might think they could get in the door. And GAWD KNOWS what might end up creeping or crawling inside HIS club!! (TM looked up the cost of exterminators)

But then again, his group had gotten so EFFING BORING, they had to wake up to go home at the end of a night. Not go home to go to bed. Sad times, sad times!

Newbies might shake things up. Make it exciting again. MAKE HIS CLUB GREAT AGAIN!

Yeah but they had to FIT IN once they GOT IN, #amiright??
(yes Toast Master, you’re always right. That is why you’re the TM!! yawns after saying the right answer. Only to earn a smack on the head from TM)

So who did he want more of?? 😛

TM thought and thought… and thought some more!
The cheerleaders were getting too many tassles in the closet. And all they were doing lately was collecting dust. Dust bunnies and cheerleaders only SOUND cute till you got a member with asthma. (TM had just gotten an insurance bill for members who kept ending up in respirology) NO GOOD! NO MORE CHEERLEADERS! CAP ON CHEERLEADERS!!

TM thought about more jocks. But they bored the SHIT out of everyone with their talk of medals and ribbons they once won and how many cheerleaders they banged behind the seats in the stadium or arena, depending how far up they’d gotten. Ah yes… their haydays. (yawn)

And the buggers kept giving unsympathetic advice to anyone who was 5 kilos over their BMI. People were getting effing MAAAAAD!! Nope NO MORE JOCKS! CAP ON JOCKS!

The sluts and stoners sound fun, till you get the bill for upholstery cleaning…Has anyone EVER told them to lay an EFFING towel down before they sit on their spot? Cuzz nobody wants to sit there after them, do they?? TM shuddered and gagged. And admitted to throwing up a little in his mouth. And imagine how the germophobes feel! Nope, NO MORE SLUTS OR STONERS! CAP ON STONERS AND SLUTS! (TM looked up the price of scotchguarding upholstery vs plastic sleeving it.)

TM thought for a whole second about loners and wallflowers… but who’d they bring with them? He wouldn’t cap them, but he wouldn’t pursue them either!

Funnily enough ANYBODY, ANY RANDOM was looking prettier all the time. Then at least he didn’t have to worry about who he got.

TM’s assistant read his notes to see if she could help him think things thru… and added NO MORE TOAST MASTERS!! CUZZ ONE GALL DANG BLOW HARD IS ONE TOO MANY in a crowd. TM chased her and threatened to FIRE THAT STROPPY COW! (author admits to watching too much Corrie Street lately) But soon settled down, cuzz USUALLY she was a lot of help.

At the end of all his deliberations, TM went to the mall and left a notice for his club. It seems like people were just going to have to WORK THIS SHIT OUT FOR THEMSELVES. And he’d sit in his office and collect the BAGS OF GOLD with ear muffs on. WHO WANTS THE DRAMA LLAMAS ON FULL BLAST ANYWAYS??!!

Wait! TOAST MASTER TOAST MASTER! Have you mentioned your policy on SJWs and predators yet???

TM looked at narrator in his head with ABSOLUTE HORROR!! And dove under his desk!! TM called out, (to his assistant’s consternation)

I AINT HABBIN NUNNA DAT SHITE HIYAH!!

Ahem, so that’s don’t ask, don’t tell then? TM failed to respond from under the desk. He was too busy shaking.

What a A Game of “Newb vs Master” Teaches the Master

What a A Game of “Newb vs Master” Teaches the Master

They call it beginners’s luck when someone challenges the house their first time there and wins. But is it?

Sometimes the house is so wrapped up in how they’ve always done things, they won’t change. It’s not that they can’t, it’s that they won’t. Protocol, rules, procedure, … all amounting to bureaucracy. Fixed behaviour.

And then there are the rock stars of the house, or the masters. They get complacent. They won by doing what they now do. They got every prize they’ve ever had by doing it this way. Gone up the ladder faster than others because they did it this way.

So what motivates them to test themselves against a newb? Nothing. They won’t do it, unless something or someone forces or convinces them to. Or something unusual convinces them to. But they don’t want to.

So how does the newb win?

They don’t know the rules or protocol. So they find out enough to know the game and it’s moves.

eg. For chess, they find out where the pieces are allowed to move. They don’t know the cheats or gambits. They don’t know the master’s bad habits. (Every single person who has ever learned and excelled at something has bad habits). And they don’t know the usual sequences players who challenge this master use when facing them. Most people adapt to the master’s style of play, over their own. Because they are trying to learn it.

So master is sitting there losing to newb, and they are wondering wtf! And actually on the defense. Actually reacting vs planning. Playing catch up to a newb! And getting annoyed, which master most def is NOT used to. Master is now worried about losing and feeling ashamed in front of his peers. His students. The audience.

And newb is gaining confidence. Because newb began and ended with nothing to lose. Any win is gravy. Will newb be able to repeat this win? Not with this master. Not with any master watching either. They’ve gotten the memo now.
And also because the newb will never remember the steps they took to get the win. But the masters will. They memorize play schema all . the . time. Like any game or sports’ masters do.

Do you know what the exception is most likely to be?

Masters who teach newbs get to know how they think when starting out. Seeing the commonalities to learning, what their rough play looks like.

So these masters learn that sometimes the best way to keep the top rung on the ladder of success is to stay close to the newbs. Because all playing other masters does is make a lateral move. Not an upward one.

Innovation comes from having new experiences. And newbs excel at teaching masters those

From Inside to Outside the “Group” – What (or who) does that take? (a story)

From Inside to Outside the “Group” – What (or who) does that take?

I went into a group, expecting a hive mind. And found bees buzzing, with no clear drive or even leader. And I saw the gossip, I saw the hatred. I saw the fear. And knew even if I ever made it all the way inside the door, I’d never really be safe.

I could pick out the group, player by player. Yep they’re all there again!

There was the guy who came late, the one who was poor, lived on the wrong side of the tracks or river…. and gets blamed when things go belly up.

I think about my life gone by
And how it’s done me wrong
There’s no escape for me this time
All of my rescues are gone, long gone
I swear I left her by the river
I swear I left her safe and sound Marx

There is the one who people feel they can do anything to… maybe they are a coward, maybe life has taught them to be quiet. Till one day… their head blows off. And you really can’t blame them.

“I promised you, Dad, not to do the things you’ve done
I walk away from trouble when I can
Now please don’t think I’m weak, I didn’t turn the other cheek
And papa, I sure hope you understand
Sometimes you gotta fight when you’re a man”
Everyone considered him the coward of the county Rogers

There is the girl who walks to her own beat, and people aren’t so sure if she’s right in the head. But she has a good heart, so they mostly let her be. Some even kind of look out for her.

She don’t like slavery, she won’t sit and beg
But when I’m tired and lonely she sees me to bed
What set you free and brought you to be me babe
What set you free I need you here by me (sic – sp corrected) Idol

And there is the wannabe-lover who no matter how hard or often they try, they break hearts, or get their heart broken. And you really can’t figure it out. Because they’re so sweet, smart and engaging. Everyone adores them!

Foolish heart, hear me calling
Stop before you start falling
Foolish heart, heed my warning
You’ve been wrong before
Don’t be wrong anymore
Foolish heart
Oh foolish foolish heart
You’ve been wrong before Perry

You’d think a hive-mind of (as psychologists tell us most people don’t mature beyond teenage mentality) high schoolers’d come at these people the same way. But some bully them to mock, some to “help them grow”; some are the tea and sympathy crowd who “hear them and believe them”. Some ignore them, praying they’ll go away so the “party can go back to normal”. So. much. drama!

But somehow, much as they want it to, nothing much changes. Because it’s like the head of a hydra. If one of these players leaves, another replaces them.

So I wander in, look around and see the cheerleaders, the jocks, the nerds, geeks, wallflowers and loners. The brainiacs and the dimwits.

And I wonder again, is it really the inside-outsiders who need to change? Or the group? But it’s not like they’ll let people show them a new way.

Trying to Break into the “Group” – (a story)

 

Trying to Break into the “Group”

I want to come to your thing, your do, your team, your group. And I’m not sure how to get in. I’ve tried being nice and polite. I’m not that ugly, really! I’ve tried showing you all my tricks…

I want you to notice
When I’m not around
You’re so fuckin’ special
I wish I was special
But I’m a creep, I’m a weirdo.
What the hell am I doing here? Radiohead

I started talking to a girl, but her ex was over there snarling, ready to punch me, I swear! Yeah I asked her if she was sure. But I’m not going anywhere near him.

There’s a new kid in town. I don’t want to hear it.
There’s a new kid in town. I don’t want to hear it.
There’s a new kid in town. There’s a new kid in town.
There’s a new kid in town. Everybody’s talking
There’s a new kid in town. People started walking Eagles

I heard the whispering, behind my back. It started so mundane, just slagging me off. Maybe I shouldn’t have let it get to me. But I did! Colour me human, after all.

Jeremy spoke in class today
Jeremy spoke in class today
Clearly I remember
Pickin’ on the boy
Seemed a harmless little fuck
But we unleashed the lion Pearl Jam

I’m no idiot, no freak, no pervert, and

you don’t know anything about me, do you??

Restart, start over again. But it’ll have to be somewhere else, won’t it?

Hi, I’m the new one, the new kid trying to get in…. Pleased to meet you.

Over and over. Starting over gets harder and harder. Everytime I try.

Eureka: the Tv show – Science, Tech and Innovations – A Paranoid’s Nightmare?

Eureka: the Tv show – Science, Tech and Innovations – A Paranoid’s Nightmare?

I love sci fi shows about the roles of science and technology. I love the way they have cool gadgets and how they show them off. And I adore the good/evil dichotomy behind them. They seem to have a clear idea of where the lines are,… till they don’t?

Then like with the show Eureka , you’re never 100% sure if what you are watching is a dark comedy or a paranoid’s nightmare. Everything that can go wrong does, but they always seem to resolve them without blowing up the world or starting world war 3. Or even letting the world know Eureka exists!

Doomsday scenarios abound and how accurate they are, is often in doubt. At least for me, cuzz I’m not that up on quantum physics. Or on weapons, computers or tech toys. So maybe it was my perfect storm of: shit can they really do that?? I mean, if they can, should they?? Who thinks like that? Are they students of Niccolò Machiavelli?? And my teeth chatter for a bit.

And actually one of the worst/best parts of the show is that it’s all humans. No aliens! Like Mutant X and their genetic experiments. So question two for me is: would we really do this shit to each other?? Then I remember slavery, WW2 and the death camps, the bombs we’ve created and even the poisons we now call weapons. And I go yeah, I guess we could, we have! Ugh!

Then there is the bigotry between those who have super high IQs and the ordinary townies they have to at least be civil to. It’s now Nietzsche’s ubermensch we’re dealing with! Roddenberry dealt with that in Andromeda . But for me it was somewhat buffered by the uber race being aliens. And Tyr Anasazi was a fine specimen of a man! You could see why they thought he was a leader among them 😛

I quite enjoyed their discussion of what intelligence was, though that may be harder for a physicist to discuss? Unless they study quantum entanglements in social dynamics? Things like the actor network. I’ve recently gotten into reading about that. After psych and sociology in univ, it’s a really cool read! So that is actually the part of Eureka that I most enjoyed. Where the biggest hero wasn’t the man with the highest IQ, but he def had a good EQ!

Maybe someone who has more tech knowledge’d get thru the show without nightmares. But it really provoked some things in me. Which made it more of a drama or thriller than they might have intended it to be.

So yeah, if you’re into such things, this is smart Tv for sure! Or just a really cool time waster ;P Things go kaboom a lot!

Dommie Singalong: Call and Response (a story/musical)

Dommie Singalong: Call and Response (a story/musical)

The submissive male chorus or SMC had been practicing for weeks for the party. And they had picked up a matching set of maids’ hats, aprons and Victorian boots for the event. That and a thong to keep their junk tucked in was all they were wearing. And they looked cute in the dressing area they had been given.

(image: white hat, white apron and black tied boots with the words “submissive”, “male” “chorus”)

for a story

When the ladies were gathered and seated, the men entered in a single line and the ladies clapped and laughed at their faces, which were a mix of embarrassment and pride.

So cute! And worth the price of the ticket. The ladies looked at the program and found out they were unwittingly part of the entertainment as well. They were meant to greet the men with a song. They giggled a bit as they realized how it would be taken with men in drag. Without a word changed! And went all in, gung ho!

The night began with the notes of the song:

Hello, Dolly – Louis Armstrong and Barbra Streisand

Oh, hello Dolly, well, hello Dolly
It’s so nice to have you back where you belong
You’re lookin’ swell, Dolly, I can tell, Dolly
You’re still glowin’, you’re still crowin’, you’re still goin’ strong

And the SMC called back with their prepared part of the entertainment. Much like old blues or jazz songs did.

SMC’s first ditty was a revised version of:
oh where oh where has my little (dog) SUB gone – sic

. They got a lot of clapping and laughing at the changed lyrics. Everyone was pleased with the beginning of the show.
SMC did some can can dancing, with much leg lifting and butt wiggling. The ladies wooted at them. Making cat call and whistling. Till they settled down a bit. And the ladies sang the next part of Hello Dolly.

We feel the room swayin’ while the band’s playin’
One of your old favorite songs from way back when
So, take her wrap fellas, find her an empty lap, fellas
Dolly won’t never ever go away again

SMC responded with a revised version of:

three blind mice/three tied subs (sic)

and when the giggling women had settled down a bit, one man stepped forward with a verse from Oscar Wilde’s poem:
The Ballad of Reading Gaol – Oscar Wilde

Some love too little, some too long,

Some sell, and others buy;
Some do the deed with many tears,

And some without a sigh:
For each man kills the thing he loves,
Yet each man does not die.

And then SMC sang another revised ditty:

if you’re happy and you know it

. The ladies were clapping along. (As they should have been had they been singing the original lol. But how does that work with the lyric change? 😛 Oh well, it was meant in fun 🙂 )

Next the ladies were cued to sing the next bit of Hello Dolly:

Hey, hello Dolly, well, hello Dolly
It’s really nice to have you back where you belong
Girl, you’re lookin’ swell, Dolly, I can tell, Dolly
Still glowin’, still crowin’, you’re still goin’ strong

To which the SMC responded with a revised version of:

the (doggie) SUBBIE in the window – sic

which had the ladies laughing and cheering, offering to buy the subbie on offer. The men pushed and shoved each other about, in mock gestures. As if they wanted their fellow to be the one sold.

One did step forward, though not to be sold, but to continue with another Wilde stanza

“Oho!” they cried, “The world is wide,

But fettered limbs go lame!
And once, or twice, to throw the dice

Is a gentlemanly game,
But he does not win who plays with Sin

In the secret House of Shame.”

One lady offered to tie his limbs and he curtsied , lifting the edges of his apron, like a lady would in a dress. That got the ladies smiling and clapping. Ready for their next stanza of Hello Dolly:

We feel the room swayin’ while the band’s playin’
One of your old favorite songs from way back when
So, take her wrap fellas, find her a big fat lap, fellas
Dolly don’t ever go away,

And SMC began their last revised ditty:
itsy bitsy (spider) WEENIE – sic
Much to the ladies’ delight. They rose to their feet and clapped at the show. As they sang their last bit of Hello Dolly, in delight!:

Dolly don’t you ever, ever go away
Dolly don’t you ever go away again

The men curtsied and pranced about the stage and wiggled their bums at the ladies as they went by, which kicked off a spanking row. Much to everyone’s delight, which wrapped the show.

And as this bawdy fun came to an end, the doors of the dungeon opened, and the night went on as usual. But it was a fun memory for many of the SMC and the ladies.

(for wordpress readers, the revised songs SMC sang are recently posted with titles that include “Dommie Singalong” if you want to see the changed words)

Dommie Sing a Long to “Itsy Bitsy Spider” revised

Dommie Sing a Long to “Itsy Bitsy Spider” revised

itsy bitsy spider

The itsy bitsy weenie
Went up the subbie’s bod
Down came the hand and
Edged the wee-wee out
Out came the thumb
And dried up all the cum
Now the itsy bitsy weenie
Went up the bod again

The itsy bitsy clitty
Went up the subbie’s bod
Here came the domme and
Slapped the wee wee’s tip
Out came the tears
That dried up all the cum
So the itsy bitsy weenie
Went up the bod again

The biggie badass dommie
Put subbie in a cage
Down came the hand and
Tried to edge again
Out came domme’s hand
And slapped the tip again
Now the itsy bitsy weenie
Is slow to rise again.

Dommie Sing a Long to “The Doggie In The Window” revised

Dommie Sing a Long to “The Doggie In The Window” revised

The Doggie In The Window – Patti Page

How much is that subbie in the window?
The one with the waggly tail
How much is that subbie in the window?
I do hope that subbie’s for sale

My girls and I’re having a hen do tonight
We want a subbie to poke
For some fun with needles, plugs and edging
And the subbie looks like a good bloke

How much is that subbie in the window?
The one with the waggly tail
How much is that subbie in the window?
I do hope that subbie’s for sale

I read in the papers there are dude-bros
With hard cocks and smarm in the fight
My girls needs a subbie to tease and hurt
And amuse them awhile tonight

I don’t want a dom-man or an incel
I don’t want a sadist that balks
I don’t want a trail of little wankers
If he can’t take an order, he walks

How much is that subbie in the window?
The one with the waggly tail
How much is that subbie in the window?
I do hope that subbie’s for sale

The Divisions and Definitions of Magicks Today

The Divisions and Definitions of Magicks Today

Back in the day when the temples were adhered to specific cultures and people, there was less of a discussion of what magick was, or what it meant. Your books and priest/ess taught you. As did your parents and grandparents.

But today we live in a multi-cultural world, and are looking to our neighbours and the standards of our metropolis and finding there is more than one way to skin a cat.

Where one sees dark, another sees light. Where one follows sun, another follows moon. Where one reveres destruction and death, another prefers creation and rebirth.

And here we are at a place where most people who get into magicks have a cauldron full of #disanddatmagicks rather than family grimoires handed down lovingly in a ceremony. When you are considered mature enough.

A place much defined by the new age and anti-Christian movements of the 1960s and 1970s. Where, whether you grew up in it or not, you are a witch, a neo-pagan, a shaman or a heathen. Like they stand for something besides the annihilation of many peoples who didn’t follow the rules by the armies of whatever empire was in power then. Like they have been rebirthed, following this mass destruction. Like they have become cool.

A place where the groups cannot agree on the definitions. But here are common ones (with the waiver that there is strong disagreement in each).

….the dawning of a “new age”

attributed to Helena Petrovna Blavatsky, cofounder of the Theosophical Society
a New Age of heightened spiritual consciousness and international peace would arrive and bring an end to racism, poverty, sickness, hunger, and war.

…..

an anti-Christian response
Aleister Crowley
huge influence over music and art of the 1960-70s]
Church of Satan – LaVeyan
Temple of Set – Aquino

…. commonly held divisions of magicks

Left hand (black) – self growth, independent
Right hand (white) – linked to divine, ceremonial, rites/rituals, a specific group/deity
(black) – to harm, demonic (white) – to heal or protect
(black) against/outside the current temple/church’s teachings and rites
(black) death, destruction, fate, luck
(white) faith, in the God(s) or temple(s) of current favour and adherence to their ideology, rites and rituals.

….

Elemental, Natural, Green Witch, Hedge witch, kitchen witch
Mental use of will, intent
Arcane – spiritual, calling and animating
Image magick – signs, symbols, idols
Brown magick – spirit guides and animals
Gray Magick – where the ends justify the means.
Red Magick – (consensual) bloodletting or sexual activity to raise massive amounts of energy in a hurry

…. sources

Learn Religions
Spiritual Satanist
Gnostic Warrior
Ordo Astri
The Human Truth Foundation
Grove and Grotto
Hidden Legacy

Dommie Sing a Long to “If you’re happy and you know it” revised

Dommie Sing a Long to “If you’re happy and you know it” revised

If you’re happy and you know it, wash your hands.
If you’re happy and you know it, wash your hands.
If you’re happy and you know it ,
And you really want to show it,
If you’re happy and you know it, wash your hands.

If you’re happy and you know it, edge your peen.
If you’re happy and you know it, edge your peen.
If you’re happy and you know it,
And you really want to show it,
If you’re happy and you know it, edge your peen.

If you’re happy and you know it, kiss your Queen
If you’re happy and you know it, .kiss your Queen
If you’re happy and you know it,
And you really want to show it,
If you’re happy and you know it, kiss your Queen

If you’re happy and you know it, do all three!
If you’re happy and you know it, do all three!
If you’re happy and you know it,
And you really want to show it,
If you’re happy and you know it, do all three!

If you’re happy, live in chastity, dear sub
If you’re happy, live in chastity, dear sub
If you’re happy and you know it,
And you really want to show it,
If you’re happy, live in chastity, dear sub