Have you ever been hazed?
You wanted to belong to a group. And you were willing to do or endure just about any little thing!! to get in, right?
Was it a fraternity or sorority at college? A sports group? Or the military? Were you undermined about your sexual or gender identity? Were you touched without your permission? Were you coerced into being nude or accepting sexual contact? Were you chugalugging and woke up knowing someone had intruded on you sexually? Were you told to masturbate for members?
Does the fact that these are sex crimes called sexual harassment, sexual assault or molestation change how you remember these events? Or do you look at it like standard practice, and therefore “fun was had by all” no matter how uncomfortable it was for you?
I don’t think I’ve seen a discussion on hazing yet. But it happens. And maybe if we understood just what it is, you might understand that rape and sexual assault don’t always come in packages like weapons and violence and penetration. Sometimes they come in group coercion and your wanting to belong, to please. And it’s not always a man wanting to rape a woman. Sometimes it’s same gender dynamics. They want minions, supplicants, and they are the ones who determine if you belong or not.
So do you endure? Do you keep silent?
Those groups can make a huge impact on the rest of your life, after all. They are critical unions. It’s quite a dilemma, isn’t it?