The Big Bang Theory, Sheldon and consent


The Big Bang Theory, Sheldon and consent

on the eve of the show’s finale… (so sad!! I’m a huge fan!)

One of the biggest conflicts in the show has been Sheldon’s difficulty with intimacy and social engagement. Whether or not he was diagnosed as having Asperger’s, he def had challenges reading social cues. And understanding motivations.
So Sheldon went over board. He did things like making up relationship contracts, asking questions that many thought were inappropriate, he was very detail oriented. And if he truly didn’t know, he asked. He never assumed anything.
This permeated every relationship he had. Which we also see on Young Sheldon.

He was full on… never understood boundaries. Got caught being intrusive with scifi heroes and scientists he admired, if they were alive. To the point of having restraining orders on him. He literally could not buy a clue.
And along comes Amy who works with primates, as a neurobiologist. And even Leonard’s mom has a huge impact on Sheldon, as a psychiatrist who Sheldon admires.
With all that, Sheldon manages to ask consent of Amy when he wants to finally have sex with her. YAY!


So why is it so hard to understand that it can be done?
And that it doesn’t have to be a big production? Or even verbal?
Sexual consent can be sought by defining your relationship definitions and intentions, by being clear in your expectations, and signalling your intentions using physical cues (ie leaning in when you want to kiss)

Do you remember the days when if you went out on a date, some guys made you feel like you were with an octopus? And they came at you like they were a freight train?
Or did you ever deal with a drunk who was smothering you with his/her fetid breath and wanted you, to kiss, cuddle and/or have sex? How gross that was, with their horrible breath? And was genuinely confused to hear the word “no”?
So how hard is it, to soberly and seriously make eye contact and lean in before you start the ball rolling? To check for micro-expressions in their face and posture?
And here is the link… if Sheldon knows it’s a good thing to do, and does it, why don’t you? I mean, how hard can it be if he gets it?


The Big Bang Theory
Does Sheldon have Asperger’s?

relationship contracts
Big Bang Theory

consent- RAINN
Positive consent can look like this:
Communicating when you change the type or degree of sexual activity with phrases like “Is this OK?”
Explicitly agreeing to certain activities, either by saying “yes” or another affirmative statement, like “I’m open to trying.”
Using physical cues to let the other person know you’re comfortable taking things to the next level

Big Bang Theory

Lie to Me
Dr Paul Ekman: micro-expressions
Big Bang Theory

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