Voices in an Audience – the star and stalker dynamic
wrote something and in my mind I heard something that resonated. So they became my idol, my lover, my muse. There stopped being a them and I; and we we’re now ONE. Symbiotic.
I write several times a day and my diaries are full of how their songs bleed into my life and s/he must be psychic to know so much about me.
the walls of my room
have become a shrine, my diary has become an homage. I have a shrine on which I place anything I have of her/him. I light candles everyday so s/he is safe. I say prayers and homilies that I just know s/he hears. Esp after the next song comes out and that is just what I hear. Whether it’s there or not! It’s in code, just between you and me.
I bought a ring
That I’ve convinced myself was given by her/him and I wear it with pride. I’m sure we’ll be married soon. I know our children’s names.
the merch from every concert
and the tickets to every show I can get ahold of, are driving me to bankruptcy, but if I stop supporting them, how will they survive? Mom and dad are sooo POed at me!! I’ve filled up all my closets and mom won’t clean my room anymore. Even though we had to get exterminators in twice last year.
I learned the songs
I play them over and over. I know every word and nuance in the song. And I know the meaning better than the band. If I could, I’d play them 24/7. But I’ve lost 3 jobs this year alone, for lack of attendance and distraction. It’s hard to eat and sleep without having those songs on.
You know exactly what I’m going thru, I hear it in your songs. I know you get it. You’re the other half of my soul. And I know it’s only other people who stand between us. I saw you look in my eyes from the stage, so I tried to come to you. But security and your manager kept getting in the way. One day, I’ll get thru. I have to cuzz I’ll die without you….and so will you, without me. You’ll see!
Signed your number one fan!