the first puff up (a mystical story)

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The First Puff Up

Lies, secrets, games, charm, seduction, broken promises, jusifications, gaslighting – let’s call it dating 101- bigging yourself up-

Everyone wants to look good to attract their potential mate, right? It’s cool when you think their shit doesn’t stink cuzz you’re all hot for them, that they can’t move wrong. But after they or you leave the relationship, suddenly you have other names for them. not hot or cute or sexy. Heavens no! Now the words you want to use are from the DSM V!

Now he’s more than Mr Big Stuff and he has to be in the wrong. He was a gibbon making noise in tenor or bass and you bought it, till that moment when you just couldn’t anymore. And don’t worry it’s normal, it’s part of the grieving process. We get it, we’ve all done it! Or have we?

Well Sheila sure thought so! And she spread his name like muck! She thought he was cute and shy and all that. Private, and he was only hers to know. Right? She felt special. Till she heard an ex describe him the same as he had finally disclosed to her.

Her eyes bugged out, her ears blew like a steam whistle and she finally iunderstood, it was all a game with him. Might have been fine if she had known The Name of the Game . But now she was out for blood. And he had really done nothing millions of others, even Sheila herself, wouldn’t have done.

He was just puffing himself up. For the mating ritual. To the absolute wrong woman though.

Sheila decided he needed to be taught a lesson. She pulled out her magic incantations book and bought all the items she needed, and her latest BF named Steve, now looked like she had thought him when she ended their relationship. He was a gibbon. With a puffer throat for his lousy false words to grow in. He would never again lie to a woman.

Moral of the story? Thing is, if you’re going to spread muck, be sure your own ass is clean.

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