Bean Counter (a story)

Bean Counter

He was the typical picture of a bean counter to her. Randy wore a cardigan, a bow tie, suspenders, and a button up shirt. His trousers were just a bit short. And his glasses were the old school black frames. You’d swear I was talking about Erkel . Pretty close, yeah. But Randy wasn’t fictional to Kate. He was standing right before her now.

He was a man who needed a makeover. Kate was itching to take him in hand. Find a suit that’d make him look better. More like Stefan, than Steve. But Randy kept refusing to go with her to the mall. So either she fell in love wih this nerd who quoted Pythagorian theorems and the pi charts. Or she had to walk away from him. She wasn’t into nerds.

But he was so sweet and he deserved to be loved. Just not by her, unless he allowed the makeover.

So Kate decided to show Randy what could be done. And got one of those programs that revises your looks before your eyes. Gives you a before and after shot. She thought he might respect the tech aspects of the project.

And he did! He started talking about coding, like she might actually understand. She would have laughed, but he would have been hurt. She was more the artsy, hippie child. Not a geek or nerd. She could tell you within three bars what the song and artist were. Often without hearing the artist’s voice. It was a cool party trick.

Randy’s skills actually got him a job as a statistician for a major research company. Before you swear, there really are things that statistics are good for. I mean a lot of fields use them, right? But you don’t count heads when you see the numbers added together. As long as you remember that, statistics are useful.

But back to Randy and Kate…

He wasn’t convinced that he needed to change his look. A lot of friends of his looked similar to him and he wasn’t sure he wanted to change his look for the famtasy woman Kate was trying to assure him existed, just for him.

Finally she wore him down though.

Kate took him to a high end men’s shop.

Randy was turned, measured, again and again. The fabrics were laid across his chest and shoulder. One of the assistants ran across the hall of the mall and got a pair of frames so Randy could see how he would look with them on, instead of his thick black ones.

Finally they got his look together and he stood before Kate as a new man. Kate’s knees went a bit wobbly.

Was there a female Pygmalian? Randy was now someone she could totally crush on. And she knew she had done the right thing by him when other women were looking at him as well. One unobtrusively gave him her card.

What she thought would convince him did not though. He put his nerd clothes back on before they left the store. And the clothes she thought should be his were left behind.

So Kate had to ask herself now… Would her memory of him as Stefan be enough? Or did she have to leave Randy behind?

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