treat her like a lady-ish?

treat her like a lady -ish?

looking for the dream
like they write about in all those romances
the prince and princess who love each other
F.O.R.E.V.E.R (swoon)

Alice Cooper
Hank Snow
Ricky Martin

but the castle is mortgaged
or the neighbours are feuding
and your love keeps farting in their sleep
they’re so boring!
That one woman man
is drunk again

Kenny Rogers

and you signed up for a lifetime of
Saturday nights in front of the telly
the high light of your life
is the street BBQ
or parents’ night at the local school


you might tickle each other
or flog the other with a feather
but the pastor would know
if you went near the local dungeon
and you need that reference to get by
in this gawd forsaken town
He just thinks he’s a lady’s man
but he can’t even please you

Cornelius Brothers and Sister Rose
Paul Anka
Barbara Mandrell

Where did all the romance go?
Is life about the idiot on your bed?
Must I really manage my expectations?
Again and again?
Is the word marriage a darker one
than I was ever told?
Is it die of boredom or be
a crime statistic?

Celine Dion
Carrie Underwood
Dixie Chicks

Sing a song I’ll never live
get a divorce

Tammy Wynette

or be a

Dead skunk in the middle
Dead skunk in the middle of the road
Stinking to high heaven
All over the road
Oh, you got pollution
It’s dead, it’s in the middle
And it’s stinking to high, high heaven

Loudon Wainwright III

(wakes up screaming!!)

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