self vs other: rules

Relationships of ANY Kind – Rules of Engagement

1. I’m allowed to be me. I love me.
If you want something other than my ditsy self, you know where the door is.
2. I’m allowed to have off or bad moments or days.
No one can possibly be at the top of their game all the time.
3. I’m allowed to be sick and take care of myself before you.
Most sickness gets better if you be a little selfish.
Most sickness comes about because you are over tired and spread too thin.
4. I have scars/wounds from when I was a child, or younger adult.
I need to protect those areas of my body and psyche so they don’t become infected or re-open (presuming they’re closed)
5. I am entitled to:

  • autonomy,
  • independence,
  • dignity
  • and respect.

And any and all boundaries that protect those factors.
Your force of will, manipulation or coercion should never supercede my needs.
6. I have my own journey, my own path.
You may advise me, but you cannot force me.
7. I must be able to express my feelings or I’ll feel like it’s unsafe to have them.
If you heard me out when it’s a small issue and we came to an agreement then, it’d probably never become a big fuss.
8. I can believe in whatever version of my faith of rearing and life experience comes to. It is not your place to do more than discuss them with me.
9. I can be as tomboyish or girlie as I wish and you have no say.
10. see rule # 1. It bears repeating.

It doesn’t matter if you call yourself family, friend, lover, spouse, boss or even dom/me, you do NOT get to mistreat me and have me remain silent. I will protect myself over you. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME!
That self protection may mean leaving the relationship or engaging legal advice/action.

Say it with me:

I am the best me I can be at this moment!

And you don’t get to call me names or manipulate/gaslight me just so you feel good about yourself!
I claim control of my own life and emotional and psychological safety.
You cannot and will not have power over me, without my consent!

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