a letter from your ______
the last letter (a story)
(when she was going thru her late husband’s effects, she found this letter.)
As long as I can remember, I have been in love with you. From the first time I saw you, till the day one of us dies. And since you’re reading this, that must have been me. For that I’m sorry. I guess I couldn’t keep my promise that I’d never leave you.
I was so proud to be your life partner. You are such an amazing woman. Full of life and love. Such a beautiful caring soul.
You never shamed me as a wife or a mother. You were full of energy and wisdom. And you showed such tenderness and caring.
We were always mad for each other’s bodies. Even after all these years. It embarrassed our kds to know how often we kissed in front of them, how often we showed PDAs. And we smiled and told them some day they’d want to do the same things with their partner.
It was such a joy to be with you, my darling. And I want to set you free now to love another, with the lessons you learned from me and our love.
We’ll be together again soon, my love
(She was bawling her eyes out, in anger, confusion. Her name was Barb, so who the hell was J??)
. . . . .
- Dear agony aunt,
- I’ve been driving myself crazy with all sorts of fantasies I know can never come true. With visions of naked men like they’re sugar plums waiting to be plucked from the tree of life.
- And wondering why they never ask me out or want to talk past the first few web notes. What shall I do dear auntie???
- Perplexed and frustrated,
- Dear Perplexed and frustrated,
- Either buy a vibrator or get out to some social event you enjoy and find a real one.
You must believe there is life on other planets, since you spend so much time and money perving the skies and sending rockets full of people to other planets… So I was wondering if you thought they have sex the same way we do here? Do you have any theories for what they think is “normal”?
Your fellow searcher,
. . . . . .
Dear fellow searcher,
We have yet to have seen sentient life. Trust me, it’d be on the news if we had. So unless you want to talk about microbial asexual function (which somehow I doubt), I’m afraid we have nothing else to offer. Now, fellow searcher, you wouldn’t contact NASA for wank fodder, would you?