I stand here remembering all the little things that could have been. All the time we put in and wishing. Wishing pigs could fly, magic was more than just a belief. Yeah sure it’s the big things like another year, an anniversary or birthday. But it’s morning coffee and a glass of wine at the end of the day. It’s getting ready for work or a party. All the little touches and dancing around the room in celebration. And though it’s crap at the time, I wanna hear you scream and cry when we’re fighting about stupid stuff. or the big ones like how many kids we want or what we’ll do for money when I lost my job.
All the times we fought and I thought for sure we were breaking up, but somehow we muddled thru. We weren’t about peace, we were all passion. And passion won thru.
So many times I thought you’d walk away and there’d be nothing but sadness left for me.
Till the day I stood before your stone and realized, you’d given me everything. Till the last breath you gave it all to me.
I almost chased you to the afterlife. Begging you to come back to me.
Not really sure I could make it alone.
But I did.
Well you taught me love so deep, I had to try again. Take the lessons you gave and the stronger heart and just try again. I was sure I had your blessing.
When she came into my life, she was calm to your whirlwind. She was quiet to your bliss. And light to your dark. But again it was the little things. The tea in the afternoon, a walk at the end of the day, with a puppy chasing our heels. Watching her take a bath and helping her dry. Nothing like you, but the depth of love so much the same.
I just knew I had to find love again. In memory of you. Or lose the heart you had given me. And I knew I couldn’t do that to you.
All I asked of life and love was not to be the one standing at the stone, or the door, when the time came. This time, let it be me.