the days tech attacked!! ( a story)

Tech is coming into our homes, more and more . And I would be a very, very bad technophobe if I never wrote a horror story about how badly things could go wrong with this. So here it is! Enter this piece at your own risk. I likely won’t sleep for a week 😛

 

I like my privacy
And even before I got my home aid, I had heard stories about the federal police and the govt wanting access to the computer versions of the search tool. So honestly, i have no clue what I was doing making this decision as a technophobe. And an anarchist.
I asked the device for my usual things I liked to know. At first it was “kind” enough to answer me or allow the searches. But then it was almost like the device became the brat version of itself. It became adament in it’s refusal or appeared confused, even though it was a simple search that I had done repeatedly. OR it offered me my fave porn hub videos instead. That was ok when I was alone. But one night in the middle of a dinner party, with my pastor?… I asked for a Bible verse! Everyone was some shade of red! My pastor gave me a lecture about keeping my mind chaste. That despite my bodily urges, I could at least not trigger it with such an influence. A female friend there gave me a lecture in self respect and the patriarchal influences in porn. She ended it with tears.
Every now and then, out of nowhere, I would hear sirens approach and barely got into a towel or clothes before my home was raided by the police. Luckily I was mostly alone. Once, a lover was over and was asked very embarrassing questions about our sexual habits. They claimed they were concerned about my safety, despite my reassurance. That was the last time he came over. I can’t say I blame him. 😦

I like my toys
And I had hooked up all my toys to wifi. I was thinking ease of function? There might even be some fun for two in it? At first it lulled me into a false sense of security… They worked fine, as they should. It was a good, fun time 🙂
Then I started getting lite shocks at really bad times. Would have been fine for a masochist and all, but I am not!! a masochist, so my urges and their fruition went south 😦
Which got worse when I started getting Billy Graham or Robert Schuller’s voice telling me about a prophet in the Bible or the days Jesus walked in the desert with the devil. Sooooo a turn off!! (in case you don’t know, famous TV preachers)
Worst though was the day my dad’s voice came thru the vibrator just as I was orgasming, to ask me to pick up groceries for him and include something for his hemorrhoids. Yeah wifi was unhooked from my toys that day. It took a week for me to even consider masturbating and much longer to cum. 😛

I’m a bit of a paranoid
I like knowing that my home is secure. At first this function was great and all was well. Till the brat decided I was a perv who must be punished and started warning me a neighbour was entering my back door when I was in the shower. Or I’d be dozing in the tub and the fire alarm would go off. I had made the mistake of touching my genital area. So towel on and run for the alarm before the fire dept was dispatched. I ended up putting a “at home” delay on it so I didn’t slip and fall when I was scrambling out of my bubble bath. I was sure one day, I’d knock myself out and wake to find FFD guys all around me.
And there were the days the brat decided I was a threat to the nation and must keep me from bombing something critical or spreading some gas or infection. Everytime I uploaded a grocery list, it would audit the list and change some of the items right in front of my eyes. Hey you! I may be an anarchist, but that doesn’t mean I’m a terrorist, you lil shit! Worst were the days it called 911 because my garden needed fertilizer or my allergies acted up and I was out of Sudofed 😦 Needless to say, I became more paranoid. I changed the perameters to outdoor surveillance. And home maintenance things, like monitoring the appliances and electric and carbon and freon gases so I felt i could sleep at night and no more!!!

I was beginning to hate this thing!!!!
If it had worked right, and I could trust it, it could have been a lot of fun. Which is why I didn’t disconnect it sooner. As it was, I showed a LOT of patience considering all that happened. But that was mostly cuzz I found ways to curb the brat.

till the last straw!!

One day I was home with a lover and the S.W.A.T team came in. We were searched VERY THOROUGHLY! The house was searched and sadly for us it was a no pot allowed district. So we were arrested. But at least it was just for possession for personal use. We had smoked the part that tipped us over the max for that earlier. It had taken some time for the alert to be processed and their arrangements and investigation to go thru. It seems the home aid had been collating the searches and providng a profile for the police action.
That was it, the home aid was all ripped out!
I was just glad I could explain things lol. But I still have to do community service and go to rehab. Court ordered of course. My home is now low tech!!

**Sooooo, do you want this in your home??