tales from the crib

I don’t know if you believe that objects keep hold of the energy around them or not? But I’m here to tell you… we do.

I can tell you the tale of a single mom who scrimped for four months after her child’s birth to get a crib for her. Why? She had a lot of family around, so there really was no excuse. Between all of them, it might have cost each @ $5-10 max. What was worst was her brother’s ex had his son’s crib still. He said if she gave it to his sister, she would get cut off. No child support payments ever again. Yet that same family started asking that same mom for the stuff she had bought her child and actually believed they deserved it. Harrassed her till she gave in and let them have it.

. . . .

I can tell you about the time a mom got really sick and it looked like she needed surgery. Her child was a year old. Mom could hardly walk upright for 6 weeks, her stomach pain was so bad. Again, family was around, but the only time they helped was to babysit while she attended the OBGYN appt.

. . . .

I can tell you of families who were hardly ever around, except when they had a spleen full to vent. They’d call to dump their emo all over someone who was tired and trying to deal with things like collic, teeth growing, fevers, flus, colds, ear infections. Or worse. They told the person to suck it up. Their problems were worse. And even with baby crying in the background, they’d continue their lecture and/or use parent as their therapist. However they were just too busy to listen when they should have returned the favour.

. . . .

I can tell you of families who blamed the parent for neglect when the child had a learning delay.

. . . .

I can tell you about a family who saw the kid and parent 2-3 x a yr, in the group, yet called CAS on the parent. They claimed they knew stuff that was of concern about the child. They testified in court that the child was unsafe and the parent was mentally ill. The parent and child were separated, and the child as adopted by a person who hardly knew them, just because they were supposedly blood. And they refused access. The adoption was closed.

. . . .

I can tell you of families who used drugs, and alcohol, yet CAS let them keep their kids, while many single moms and dads lost custody, even though they were sober and capable. Often more capable than the people who ended up with their kids. Because CAS has a bias against single parents.

. . . .

I can tell you about a lot of moms who break under the strain, because they get called a slut, a whore, a bad mom, mentally ill, stupid by people who can’t be bothered to help out a little. Then blame the mom. Who did stay, after all. While dad and everyone else buggered off.

. . . .

I can tell you of a lot of adults who were abused by their families as they grew, only to realize in horror that CAS just gave custody of their child to the very people who broke them.

. . . .

Rock-a-bye baby, in the treetop
When the wind blows, the cradle will rock
When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall
And down will come baby, cradle and all

. . . .