she was lead bitch

They crowded around her, followed her, like she was a bitch in heat. Drooling, and panting and getting under her feet. Till she put them in their harnesses and spoke sharply. Then they lined up and behaved.
She jiggled the lead line and they posed, waiting for her command. “Go!” And they were off. Trotting for the long race they had ahead of them. They had been training for years, they were bred for this. And today was the culmination of all that good work. All dozen dogs had been hand picked from her pack to race today. She had been sizing up the competition the past few days, so she was pretty sure these dogs would win her the race. Barring accident or injury.
It was all about endurance. These dogs had good strong shoulders and were about the same size, so they were pulling together. And they were used to training together too. 12 dogs, one human musher. She was in heaven and she hoped they had a bit of fun, since they liked running for hours, days. That’s why this breed was so good for racing.
At one point during the race, it began snowing. It got harder and harder for her to see. So she called out to her lead dog, and let her take the lead till she could see again. Her lead dog was used to the course and could literally do it blindfolded. She had in fact been trained to do just that. She got under the covers and let the dog have her head. She just kept the line tightish to keep the dogs doing their jobs. Working together. And enjoyed the feel of the sled moving over the snow. It was bliss.
At the end, she yelled at the lead dog to run, so they practically flew across the finish line. The dogs knew a snack waited for them at the kennel. And they were very hungry. So she felt their excitement pick up, even though she was sure they were as tired (or more) than she was.
She heard the man shout her number and perked her ears up to hear where she was placed. With the snow, she hadn’t been able to keep track of the other sleds as well as she hoped. He said, she was number 1. She ululated in glee and her team took it up with her. She grinned. The dogs rolled around in the fresh snow and waited for her to unleash them, so they could go eat and drink. Today, she planned on giving them an extra special treat. Their hard work had paid off ūüôā

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she led the cows to their doom

She used her hand to feed them a treat, and give them meds. She stroked them with the same hand she used to brand them. She led them into their stalls for food and a night’s rest as well as to milk them. By hand or machine. She led them by ramp on the truck that took them to the vet or to move them over to the other farm. It was as easy for her to do these things as it was to put them in the chute at the stock market to sell them so they’d never see her again. Though she had been more their mother than their actual mother was. And they didn’t know their dad.And it was as easy to put them in the chute for the butcher as it was for her to put them in their stall and walk away.
You would think she was cold and callous, and had no feelings, but that wasn’t so. It’s just the way she looked at cows. She was never mean to them and always saw to their care and comfort. She read up on all the latest theories of how cows viewed the world so she could take good care of them. So she could understand their needs. She even showed them her concern and affection.
She built a cow cradle to de-stress them so they were happy cattle on her farm everyday. She was very considerate.
But when the time came for her to sell or kill the cow it was done. That’s the way a farmer does it all. It is what it is after all. She was raising meat on a hoof, for your dinner table tonight. And after all these are the same beasts that produce so many farts, they contribute to the green house effect. You know, that thing that might kill us all? That’s it kill all the cows! lol just kidding!

bond types

This is a note for my **she vs beast** series)

**imprinting** –
when baby recognizes what their own species looks like and they are one of them. When they attach to their same species caregiver, in most species, it’s mom. Early hours after birth

**bonding** –
when baby attaches to the person/beast that spends the most time with them. Gives them food, fluids, teaches them things, gives them affection, makes them feel safe and valued. Early childhood/
**fragile bonds** – usually a result of injury, illness, or life trauma (abuse, neglect) esp in the early childhood

**narcissistic and dependent bonds** –
fragile, incomplete, easily broken bonds to self and other.

**schizophrenic bonds** –
attachments to people who are not immediate family or frequent carers and odd behaviours associated with any attachment

**socializing** – domestication
when baby is taught by emotive cues and repetition what makes their caretaker happy or upset. When they start to link these with their behaviour, vs feeling confused or upset. When they start to adjust their behaviour based on that input.

**testing boundaries** –
when baby, child learns the rules by pushing the edges of the caretaker’s patience with them.

**maturation** –
when baby, child starts to learn what is expected and follows these guides

**individuation** –
when child shows they have learned the rules, but have gone their own way after thinking things thru

** feral** –
unable to attach or socialize to others.

Dear Roomies

We were far away from home and in a place new to us. So much demanded and it seemed like no one cared about us. So over time, we bonded to the point we were one. One of mind, one of spirit and as healthy energetic people often do, we took it a step too far. Our bond became one of body too. We were taking our moods out on each other. If it was fear, we clung to each other. If it was loneliness, we comforted each other. Et cetera. ¬†And it became more than friendship. Probably never would have been more than casual acquaintances, if we had been home and felt safe…At no ¬†other time in our life did either of us develop such a relationship.

It could have been that we were trying so hard to keep it secret. But I often wondered if other roommates were engaged in such activities. I did see things that made me smile now and then. I hope so for their sakes. It was a really great experience.

Dear Camp Counselor

You taught me so much about who I am and where I should and could go from here. I was so innocent about what survival takes and you showed me. You put the tools of life and death in my hands and coached me in their good use. ¬†Then you helped me master myself, so I could handle them and be safe. You sent me out for a vision quest, I thought. Then came after me and seduced me with your charms and experience. ¬†I was in awe of you. ¬†And I couldn’t believe you were into me. I wanted so much to please you. And just when I thought I had, you showed me exactly what I meant to you. I was a convenient hole, not even a human. It was the harshest lesson I had ever been taught. I should probably thank you for pulling the veil off my eyes, but please, excuse me if I don’t. At that moment, all I could do was hate you ¬†so.

Dear Guard

I thought you were one of the good guys when we met, till one day I saw you in the door way of the room where I was raped and assaulted as initiation to the half-way house. I know I did the crime, but really, is rape a way to reform me? And aren’t you supposed to keep us from becoming animals there? You certainly make a show of believing that, when visitors come to the house. Whether it’s families or bigwigs and inspectors.
Do you remember what happened? Because I do! I’ll never ¬†forget it.
I was ambushed as I entered the hall and shoved into the conference room. Someone had to have a key, cuzz it was after business hours. All the admn had gone home. I was held down and my clothes were stripped off me with a box cutter. Each of my house mates took their turn, like they were apes after a female in heat. I just zoned in and  out. Looking at you, all the time.
And after that, whenever you made a “reformation is key here” speech, I just looked at you till you looked back. Not once did you show that you got what I was saying to you with my stares. ¬†I was calling you a liar.

Dear Teacher

Don’t know if you remember me? But I had a wicked crush on you when I was at college. I went back as a mature student, so we were just a few years apart. You were a shaggy blond, like you just dragged yourself out of bed, and had drop dead blue eyes. Even as tall as I am, I could wear my tallest, hooker heels beside you and feel dainty,
You might have been interested, but then again,,, You might just have been the touchy feely type. I guess I’ll never know. But every time you sat by me, you touched my leg or pressed your leg against mine. I almost melted as what I wanted to happen next ran thru my head.
What I wanted to do to you was wrap our long legs together and fuck like animals. Scratch your back up so bad, you’d need stitches. Bite your neck, chest and shoulders till you looked like an animal had mauled you. And slap your ass meat as we rode each other to orgasm.
Then I wanted to roll you over and ride you with a strap on, with a finger in to massage your prostate too. Till you didn’t know when one orgasm ended and the next began.
To this day, I can’t think of you without giggles and blushes. I wonder, do you ever think of me?

Boitoy’s Ordered Adventures

Domina sent boitoy out into the world to open up his sexual experiences. He had come to her so innocent it made her teeth ache at the thought of debauching with him. What she asked of him wasn’t so outrageous, but fun and to broaden his experiences a bit. To see what he enjoyed out of the tasks she set. Plus she wanted to see if he would obey her.

The first thing she asked him to do was find a woman who liked out door or risk of getting caught sex. He put an ad on fetlife and found such a woman. Of course he had to prove the event, so they took selfies.
They found a quiet corner in a park a few times, under bushes and under a picnic table. It was long after dark, so you need not worry about kiddies being shocked. He was strong enough to lift the woman up and start the banging on the table. But they heard people, so continued underneath.
They found a factory that was on third shift and he drove her mad with his tongue to the sound of factory whistles and lines running. They were hanging out the side door of his van.They were barely done when the lunch truck pulled into the lot.
They went to a drive in theater and had sex in the back seat of her car.
They found a waiting room at the local hospital (again on the third shift) and used the screened off area for families who need a bit of privacy to process grief or shock. They held hands as he banged her against the table and the wall. Just as they were dressed and heading out of the room, the security guard came by. He gave them a weird look and suggested boitoy check his zipper.
He went over to her boyfriend’s house with her and had sex with her in the bathroom while her boyfriend was entertaining a friend in the kitchen. He had snuck in while the woman was in the shower. So they had shower sex and carpet mat on the floor sex too. Kinda gross, but yeah, they were in the zone.
They found an apartment fire escape and he sat on a step and she sat on his lap to seduce him. This one was broad daylight, but the staircase had turns. So the only people who would have seen them would have to have been on the stairs. It was a huge building…so maybe, could have? But didn’t.
They went to a mall and she gave him a blowjob in the delivery lane. Then they found a closed store, where the men who were renovating it between tenants had left the door unlocked while they went on a lunch break. They were grinding each other on the floor and really ready for sex when they heard the men return. So they ran out the emergency door.

Domina asked him to do some group scenes. So he placed another ad and found another guy and two women so they could play together. Domina insisted that he experience bisexuality. So they crawled all over each other and poked the holes that were close to each other. When they were beginning, they played a few hands of strip poker to get warmed up and used to each other.
The guys also did a burlesque routine in the women’s lingerie, when they needed a downtime to rejuvenate.
The other guy was into bondage, so he tied up everyone else and they tickled, teased and spanked each other. It wasn’t really for pain or control, but to experience the sensual and bound aspects. It was a lot of fun for boitoy. He was starting to get why Domina had wanted him to do this.

Domina arranged for a CFnm party and had him serve the tea. The ladies were frisky with him, but it never actually turned into sex. Just lots of rubbing everything but his penis.

Domina sent him to a boxing ring and had him spar with a few of the amateurs. He realized that it was a gay gym, so he kept getting non-boxing contact and they gave in to their excitement and had sex on the mats. Sweaty, bruised and totally wild sex.

Finally, Domina arranged with a friend of hers for boitoy to be a dungeon prostitute. He was there to be had by anyone who wanted him. He was tied up to the equipment and used as they saw fit. So some flogging and sex was had. He wasn’t overly impressed with this, so he made it a short night. Well now he knew. He wasn’t a pain slut. I mean now and then was cool, but this night was too much. He was glad to know though.

The best part for him though, was when he and Domina went thru the pix and he told the stories. It turned them both on and they had incredible sex. Well worth whatever small emotional upset the events had cost him. He just might like these adventures and want to do them again.