It was ignored.
Every time he acted as he did and someone caught him at it, it was ignored.
They caught him stealing their panties and gave him a swat. They knew what he did with them, so they never asked for them back. I mean, would you?? He blushed and made false promises and of course, never kept them. But nothing changed. He kept stealing panties.
He kept looking up skirts. He had such shiny shoes you could eat off them. And he had a long handled small mirror he saved up for for months. He so loved the mini skirt phase! But only when the tip was unintentional. He took late and early walks around the neighbourhood so he could see the ladies in their deshabille, or even better, showering. After saving up for months, he finally had a small camera. Then he learned how to develop the film. When instant cameras came along, he was in heaven. No waiting. His dad had more than one chat about how he shouldn’t be peeking, but again he made false promises.
He learned how to swim and dive well, so he could be a life guard and swim coach. He needed no excuse for hanging around and now he could touch the women too. So he would cop a feel whenever he could. Blush and apologize when he had to.
He loved taking public transportation. Buses, trains…When most people were complaining, he was in his glory. He could walk thru the crowds and stand in breathing distance of a woman and rub up against her. No one could say for sure if it was necessary. He wasn’t a klutz!
It’s not like the literature wasn’t available after all. Some would say he was shy, and that was normal. Some would say he was exploring as boys do, and that was normal. But somewhere along the way, his discomfort went from where he could barely tolerate polite society to where he was imposing his need on them. Where he went from being a boy who might have been saved, taught. To a predator.
Some would think it was about self gratification. That he did these things to masturbate afterwards. But that was rarely the case. It was like the deed was the orgasm.
When he did masturbate, it was to blood and guts, to snuff porn. And not the fake kind either. He got boot leg copies of real crime videos. That’s when it all came together for him. When he saw what had been itching at his brain all along. One day soon, the murderer would be him.
But before that day, he began to build the sham life. If it wouldn’t hide him, it might change the harsh mind of the judge at sentencing. He can’t be all bad, right? He has a wife and kids. He has a job. He goes to church… But, don’t they all?
It was ignored.