Sent: Sunday, February 14, 2016 at 4:27 PM
Subject: shopping for a fetish/bdsm site
SHOPPING FOR A FETISH/BDSM SITE HAS TAUGHT ME…
by MsPeachieRocks almost 2 years ago
What I want out of them and I thought I should/could bring that discussion here.
(btw fetlife has a lot of the features)
1) I want a wading pool area. Where you and your friends can trade pix and mssgs, follow each others’ posts and chat. Where you can choose if your pix are public domain or selfies. I want nicks and galleries to be cool as they need to be for that person’s adventure in the site. Not a test of whether they are serious about "the life" (my exception being the "no presence" profiles where nothing is known about the person. Or fin-dom ones where all they do is sell their wares vs tell you who they are and why they are here. They are obviously an advertisement only)
2) I want a newbies area where they can get accurate information about the life and gather to support each other’s growth. Demos (videos) and forum discussions by the veterans. Where they can ask questions without being made to feel like an idiot and can find a true mentoring atmosphere. I want veterans to blog and demo the "lifestyle" for the newbies to learn from. (Without attacking each other preferably, yes we disagree but…)
3) I want a chill out/cool down area where you can find your fave things (kinky or not) cuzz we’re people too right? Games, sports, movies, Tv shows etc. you follow and kinky people who love them. With a nice, relaxing/have fun vibe.
4) I want gender identity, sexual orientation and relationship focused areas. So it’s more than a porn site. Where you can discuss different perspectives, journeys and your growth. Without fear of bullying.
5) I want the history of sexuality shown too, such as it’s segregation from the vanilla world, how it has changed in time and it’s role in the fertility practices of some old faiths (pagans). I want to see the different social sciences’ view of sexuality . As a whole not just fetishes and BDSM.
6) I want some discussions/pictures of body issues and how we work to change our bodies through tattoos, piercings, branding, scarification etc and the cultures should be respected that these practices came from.
7) I want the porn aspects and ProDom or FInDom aspects separated from the amateurs (lovers) of the craft. So the newbies aren’t preyed upon. So they are allowed to grow at their own pace. Otherwise it feels too much like abuse and predator/prey behaviour.
8) I want a healing area, where since abuse DOES occur in the vanilla world and kinky world, people in the site who have suffered can come together and support each other.
I’ve spent about a year looking around the different sites and few have all of these features. Some are basically porn theatres (fine if that’s what you are looking for but pretty disgusting if you are not into that). I think the above things help separate the "players" from those who want to be a moral person and a kinkster. So tell me what you think a good site offers 😀