RP – The Sick Bed?

He really didn’t feel well, so though he hated it, he went to the emergency room.
After a few hours of sitting in the waiting room, wondering if he wouldn’t be better off at home in bed, he was finally taken to a cubical. He was given a gown and told tersely to put it on. So he did. I mean, you do what they say right?
He waited some more, till a nurse walked in and sat beside him.
"So what’s a healthy looking guy like you doing here tonight? Figure you’d scope out the nurses?"
Hmmm "No, I don’t feel well at all."
"What’s the problem then?"
"I have serious stomach pain. "
She reached over and prodded and kneaded his stomach area and asked, " 1-10, 1 being lowest, 10 being the worst pain of your life, how do you feel?"
""Pretty bad, so I’d say an 8-9. The only thing I’ve felt worse was when I got kicked in the groin once."
"Awww so you are a bit sore then. Let’s take your temp and BP then, see if we can find anything." And her actions followed her words. She also took his pulse and listened to his chest with the stethoscope. "Well I can’t find anything so far…"
"The pain is in my stomach…"
She looked at him sternly. "Yes dear, but sometimes pain is tricky that way, so we rule out big stuff first. You didn’t punch me when I poked your stomach and your heart and lungs seem good. You also aren’t leaning over the toilet. We’ll keep looking. I’ll order some blood panels and see where we go from there." And she left the room.
A young woman came in with a tray of tubes and needles and said, " I have orders for a blood draw. Would that be you sir?"
" I’d rather say no, but that won’t help me any, will it?"
She laughed, "I guess not!" She checked his arm band and put his name on 10 tubes.
"Awww leave me a wee bit would you?"
She smiled, "Sure,since you asked so nice and all." Then she proceeded to collect the blood. When she was done, she said, "I hope you feel better soon," and left.
He was dozing for a few hours, until a female doctor came in to the cubicle.
"And how are you feeling now sir?"
"A bit better,but not great yet. Have the tests shown anything yet?
"Your levels are up, so we’re going to send you for an thoracic xray and an ECG. Not to worry, we’re still ruling things out. I’ll come and talk with you after you’ve had those tests." She palpitated his stomach and then left the room.
An orderly came with a chair and asked if he was ok to go in that or would prefer a cot. He said he thought he could handle the chair. So off they went for the tests.
When he returned to the cubicle, he dozed again.
The doctor woke him when she pulled the curtain back.
"Ok sir, we think we’re sure what the issue is. I’m ordering a urine sample and want to examine your groin area next." She snapped on a glove.
Crap… he blushed. He hoped his body didn’t act up on him. He thought of the queen and the last time he was at church services. And was thrilled when he managed to keep his joystick down till she was done. Only to have her say, "You must be in a lot of pain. I’ll have the nurse bring you something."
"Thanks, but why do you say that now?"
"Most men react when they get examined." She smirked a bit.
Right…
A few minutes after the doctor left, the nurse came and gave him a shot just under the butt cheek. She collected the urine container he filled up. Then left in a hurry when an alarm went off.
He managed to get a nap before the doctor returned. "Ok sir, we know what’s going on with you and you will be fine. You have a kidney stone. Here are some pain pills for the next few days. You can get dressed and leave now. If the pain gets worse, please contact your FD or return here. But otherwise, you’ll have to pass it on your own."
He sighed.
"Any questions sir?"
"No. Thx " he said and smiled at her as she left. Then he got dressed and left the hospital.

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