Butcher in XXXmas Village

Sent: Monday, January 11, 2016 at 7:23 PM
Subject: Butcher in XXXmas Village
He woke to find himself hanging from a hook stuck in the ceiling. Naked. He started struggling and the binds grew tighter. He panicked.
He looked over at the counter, when he heard a horrible scraping sound. The knife was being sharpened in the hands of a stunningly beautiful woman. Dressed in white from head to toe. With an apron over her clothes. She glanced at him as she kept sharpening the knife.
"Hello, sleeping beauty".
And back she went to her task. God that sound did irritate the teeth!!
He wanted to ask her what was going on but his mouth was stopped with something. He moved his tongue and swallowed… was that herbs and raisins? WTF??
She watched him move his jaws and swallow. "That’s raisins, walnuts and a couple fine herbs. I like stuffing carcasses with that. Makes the meat tastier. Of course I have to coat the skin with butter and garlic puree too".
She took a side of beef from a rack and put it on the table where she had set down her knives. Slowly she removed the excess fat, scored the ribs and cracked the joints. She cramped up the hind quarters, tied them off, put her claimed stuffing in the cavity and sewed the pocket up. Then she coated the skin with the butter and puree. She tied the front legs together as well then slowly put a long skewer through the meat. He actually winced.
Then she took a chef’s needle (long, thick and painfully frightening) and put a yellow liquid into the meat every few inches. "This is butter as well. It makes the meat stay juicy and tender".
"I’m sure you are wondering what you are doing here by now? Well, I’m a poor butcher, just starting out and Santa almost cleans me out every year at this time. So I have to come up with something to stretch the order. I read a book set in olden times and I found out about mystery meat. So I thought I’d try it. You’re my test sample". She grinned. "You have to try a new recipe before the big day after all."
He screamed as loud and long as he could. He did everything to beg her with his eyes. All he wanted to know was why…
She must have seen the question in his eyes. "Why? Santa has been complaining about you almost as long as you’ve been alive. He said you are the naughtiest kid he ever met and last year, he said he was glad you were no longer his problem. So this year, I hunted you down. I figure he won’t miss you much. If at all."
She put the carcass she had prepared into the large oven then came back to him. "You’re next".
He passed out … and woke many hours later in his bed. With a bag of herbs, walnuts and raisins beside him on the pillow. He went racing to the bathroom and peed and puked in the shower.
Two things happened that day.
He cleaned up his act.
He became a vegetarian.


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