Sent: Tuesday, December 01, 2015 at 7:02 PM
Subject: Fw: mentor, protector, dominant, play partner
IMO these should be separate roles. I get annoyed and concerned when i see people blurring these roles.
a person who has the same role/identity you have who has a skill you want to learn to do better. It is NOT supposed to be a sexual relationship. ie: if you want to learn rope ties you go to a shibari master or a rigging master and ask them to mentor you.
ie: if you want to be a service sub, you go to a service SUB (not a dominant) and learn the skills.
if you want to go to parties, munches or even on line and avoid some harassments that fall on single people, then it often helps to ask a friend to protect you. Someone who has connections you can count on to gain friends from and support you due to the reputation of your protector. It is NOT supposed to be a sexual relationship.
this may or may not be a sexual relationship. BUT it is a sexual fantasy or sexual tone/identity one. It can be chaste or active. But the contents are sexual. It’s a lead and follow, give and take relationship. YIN and YANG. It is the cared for and the taken care of. The dominant makes the decisions for the relationship, but usually asks/negotiates the submissive’s role in them. In this, there should be a loving committed bond. It makes it harder to misuse the other person when you care about their safety and well being. When you have a relationship you are accountable for.
play partner –
someone who tops or bottoms you for a scene so you can gain experience or just have an evening of fun. Like a vanilla fwb bond.