I DON’T HATE MEN

Sent: Friday, April 17, 2015 at 8:32 PM
Subject: No Subject
I was really surprised that this was suggested in the past few days.
I am well aware that at times men get that impression when a woman is a dominant, so I think I over correct if anything toward friendly, soft, flirty fun.
I also tend toward feminism. Which means that the guys think I’m anti-men. I’m not. I have a strong humanist POV. I want everyone to be treated equally and fairly. I notice everyone is not.
But I am a woman. I’ve looked around the world and have seen that women have had a harder road and most of the systems (church and state) being patriarchal may have something to do with that. So I chat about stuff my sisters are going thru that I don’t appreciate. That I want changed. Now would be good.
Stuff like:
genital mutilation
honour killings
harems
domestic violence
sexual assault
widows being forced to throw themselves on their husbands’ funeral pyres.
I don’t think ALL men are bad, and I know few men actually participate in these, esp in North America, but they still exist in the world. They are cultural. And until that changes, I’m a feminist.
I don’t like seeing women over-correct to be the evil done to them. That horrifies me more than the men doing it. Aren’t we trying to make the world better after all?
I also know men have been victimized. I majored in psych and sociology at univ. I have never ever refused to believe or honour their pain.
I was raised fundamental Christian. I was taught that men were closest to God. I was taught that women were responsible for original sin. So until high school I never learned there was another way of seeing the world. And even there, We barely learned about the suffragettes cuzz it was a small town school right in the heart of fundamental Christian farmers. We barely had industry there and a lot of kids were bussed in from surrounding farms.
My dad and step mom watched what media came into our house and we were taught at church that the world was evil.
For me though, I have had more experience with bad relationships with women than I have with men. Women can be really cruel to each other. I have had women friends who betrayed me and my relationship with my brothers was easier than with my sisters.
In our home, we girls were raised to do "women’s work". Gardening, canning, cooking, baking, cleaning, sewing, crafts.. The boys went with my dad. So we never had a bickering relationship till we were adults.
But the most challenging part was my step monster. She hated me and I was her scape goat, work horse, and whipping post. I didn’t really care why. But prob cuzz my dad was a drunk and she felt mistreated by his cheating. Of all my sisters I was treated the worst, cuzz she liked the others and found ways to nurture them.
So anyway, that’s the back drop. With the factor that I’ve had closer bonds with my male friends (platonic and FWBs) and they have more often helped me recover from other bad relationships, I usually feel more affinity toward men. With few exceptions but there are some. I have had bad relationships too. If I hadn’t I’d probably be married. If there were a distrust issue though, it would be pretty general, not specifically toward men.
I’m also not the stranger danger type cuzz every time I have been hurt by someone, it’s been by someone I let into my life who has misused that trust.
I’m not a fan of the way women are treated by the media but I don’t think it creates a rape culture. But it does objectify us.
I don’t know why I wrote this unless it was to clarify it in my mind or release the hurt of hearing that. But honestly I felt it was unjustified. Consider it a diary piece. šŸ˜‰

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