Sent: Thursday, April 30, 2015 at 6:31 PM





One adult comes to another and says hey I know you and we’re friends, lovers and I want to explore more of sexuality with you.
They care about each other intensely and want to be in a healthy relationship whatever they do. Wherever their journey takes them.
They know the difference between fantasy and reality and are sober. Sincere.
They know what makes each other feel pleasure but want more. This is NOT a one night stand to either of them.

the body

is capable of feeling and sensing many things and opening up your sex life to include them is a very illuminating experience.

feeling pain, pleasure, shock, cold, heat

sensing touch, taste, smell, hear, see and intuition (understanding your lover enough to know what they want or need in a given situation without words)

moods fear, anger, grief, shame -basic principles in how the body moves, positions itself when feeling these emotions. Because you can’t always stop and talk it through, you should know outside sex how your lover looks in these states.

the mindset

*Power is the critical exchange in the dynamic of sexuality. It is difficult to successfully share power all the time. So do you take turns? Or does one become dominant and one submit? Do you understand just what you are asking of that person in that role? What the psychological & physical ramifications are for them.

*Communication and Understanding are key in intimacy and sexuality. So your lover should be in their best possible frame of mind when engaging in extended activities. Best reflexes, calm attitudes and capable of the energy the body and brain will go through. Healed sufficiently from the strains of your last encounter.

*Fantasies are about imagination but perception is critical. Can your lover comprehend the difference between reality and fantasy? What are your body and brain capable of sustaining for the time a sexual act occurs from early arousal to orgasm? Is your relationship in a place where both of you feel good about it?

*Social Code – We live in the real world and need to be aware of what the laws and moral codes are in our community unless we wish to face excommunication, incarceration, social shaming and stigma, loss of home, job, custody of children, marriages. Yes we are free to live as we wish and have sex as two consenting adults at least in our minds but reality is often intrusive. You have to understand that real possibility. How relevant is that where you live and love?


1) Know your partner
2) Learn about sex and the human brain and body. Find mentors.
3) practice with the tools and positions outside of sex activity (eg whip so you know your aim and strength when you don’t have a lover under it)
4) experience both sides of the power exchange and the tools you use so you know what you are asking your lover to endure
5) Be responsible for yourself and your lover so you both come through ok
6) Be safe cuzz no thrill is worth someone’s life. Know basic first aid and in some cases CPR.
7) Communicate, negotiate and be honest about your needs and experience
8) Trust or walk away. Do NOT engage further.

Yes an accident may still occur but by living these rules you will reduce your risks and be more ready to mitigate the damages TOGETHER if and when they occur.

Many happy sexings šŸ˜‰ šŸ™‚ :$

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